It Turns Out Being Selfish Might Be The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Relationships

It Turns Out Being Selfish Might Be The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Relationships

In the spirit of this totally unselfish time of year, I took an entire week of November to do nothing other than to be just the opposite.

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As the holidays grow evermore near, your world seems to shrink around one sole idea: spending time with family. Albeit, the holidays are a wonderful time of year for the reason that loved ones tend to make time for each other and everyone is joyful, or at least they pretend to be.

The holidays are meant to be a time of absolute benevolence, one for all and all for one if you will: a time devoted to those you love.

While this is a noble cause that fills many with love, it can also be totally exhausting, often leaving you feeling overwhelmed and way overextended. As you prepare to make it the most joyous time of the year for others, you can often lose sight of taking care of yourself—there are only so many hours in the day.

In the spirit of this totally unselfish time of year, I took an entire week of November to do nothing other than be just the opposite: one hundred and fifty percent selfish.

What does a week of selfishness look like?

It looks a lot like me spending a lot of time alone and not feeling the need to do anything for or answer to anyone—which, if you know me, was an exceptionally hard task to complete.

I took the week to be with myself and to focus on the things that make me sublimely blissful. All my energy was directed toward bettering myself and getting to a place where I felt comfortable in what I'd accomplished that week.

There's a joke amongst college students that it's impossible to have all three: good grades, a social life and enough sleep. That leaves even less room for self care.

Coming out of my week of utter selfishness, I noticed that nearly all aspects of my life had seemed to improve: my relationships, my stress levels, my workload, and my sleep schedule.

After taking the time to myself, I feel more able to give other people the attention they deserve, as I myself feel rejuvenated.

Moral of the story: it's totally fine to go MIA and work on yourself for a bit—you'll feel better for it.

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Bailey Posted A Racist Tweet, But That Does NOT Mean She Deserves To Be Fat Shamed

As a certified racist, does she deserve to be fat shamed?
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This morning, I was scrolling though my phone, rotating between Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube and Snapchat again, ignoring everyone's snaps but going through all the Snapchat subscription stories before stumbling on a Daily Mail article that piqued my interest. The article was one about a teen, Bailey, who was bullied for her figure, as seen on the snap below and the text exchange between Bailey and her mother, in which she begged for a change of clothes because people were making fun of her and taking pictures.

Like all viral things, quickly after her text pictures and harassing snaps surfaced, people internet stalked her social media. But, after some digging, it was found that Bailey had tweeted some racist remark.

Now, some are saying that because Bailey was clearly racist, she is undeserving of empathy and deserves to be fat-shamed. But does she? All humans, no matter how we try, are prejudiced in one way or another. If you can honestly tell me that you treat everyone with an equal amount of respect after a brief first impression, regardless of the state of their physical hygiene or the words that come out of their mouth, either you're a liar, or you're actually God. Yes, she tweeted some racist stuff. But does that mean that all hate she receives in all aspects of her life are justified?

On the other hand, Bailey was racist. And what comes around goes around. There was one user on Twitter who pointed out that as a racist, Bailey was a bully herself. And, quite honestly, everyone loves the downfall of the bully. The moment the bullies' victims stop cowering from fear and discover that they, too, have claws is the moment when the onlookers turn the tables and start jeering the bully instead. This is the moment the bully completely and utterly breaks, feeling the pain of their victims for the first time, and for the victims, the bully's demise is satisfying to watch.

While we'd all like to believe that the ideal is somewhere in between, in a happy medium where her racism is penalized but she also gets sympathy for being fat shamed, the reality is that the ideal is to be entirely empathetic. Help her through her tough time, with no backlash.

Bullies bully to dominate and to feel powerful. If we tell her that she's undeserving of any good in life because she tweeted some racist stuff, she will feel stifled and insignificant and awful. Maybe she'll also want to make someone else to feel as awful as she did for some random physical characteristic she has. Maybe, we might dehumanize her to the point where we feel that she's undeserving of anything, and she might forget the preciousness of life. Either one of the outcomes is unpleasant and disturbing and will not promote healthy tendencies within a person.

Instead, we should make her feel supported. We all have bad traits about ourselves, but they shouldn't define us. Maybe, through this experience, she'll realize how it feels to be prejudiced against based off physical characteristics. After all, it is our lowest points, our most desperate points in life, that provide us with another perspective to use while evaluating the world and everyone in it.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter / Bailey

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15 Winter Dates For Couples Who'd Rather Snuggle Indoors Than Step Foot Outside

Do I wanna build a snowman? Uhhhh NO!

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Christmas time in New England can get pretty damn cold. I mean, we do have a few warm days, but for the most part, it's cold, windy, and sometimes snowy out. Now, if you're anything like me and you don't like the cold, typical Christmas dates might not be for you, but luckily there's plenty of cute dates that don't involve venturing out in the freezing abyss.

So get your hot chocolate, eggnog, ugly sweaters and festive pajamas ready because here are 15 fun winter dates that don't involve you and your partner leaving the house at all.

1. Ginger bread house competition

2. Classic Christmas movie marathon

3. Hallmark movie marathon

Only because my boyfriend's mom LOVES them.

4. Okay so really just any Christmas movie marathon.

SANTAAAAAA

5. Making Christmas ornaments

6. Paper snowflake making competition

7. Baking and decorating (and eating!) Christmas cookies

8. Dance around to Christmas music

9. Make each other a new stocking

10. Write a letter to Santa

Super silly but super cute.

11. Take cute Christmas pictures

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Perfect time for those ugly Christmas sweaters or Christmas pajamas.

12. Decorate the Christmas tree

And you know the rest of the inside of the house.

13. Wrap presents together

14. Hang a mistletoe and kiss under it

15. Stay up tracking Santa

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for him, and carrots out for the reindeer.

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