Isabella Babin
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Lifestyle

Isabella Babin

Identity

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Isabella Babin

I hate when people ask me about myself. Do they want to know my favorite color or do they want to know my major? What actually defines us? Is it our height, our age, our hobbies, our education, or our social status? I think as we get older, this question becomes harder to answer. There are so many aspects to a human being. We are more than what people see on the outside. We are more than what our family hypes us up to be. I think finding yourself is one of the hardest things in life we have to do. You never know what it takes to really know who you are as a person. Lately, I've been reflecting on the person I've become. Naturally, as this year is coming to an end, I tend to look at how far I've come. There's one major thing that I feel defines me: my anxiety disorder. I've always been very open about my illness because I've learned that it's not something to be ashamed of. I never really experienced any negative consequences about being open about my illness until college. I honestly didn't expect criticism from anyone especially in college because well, I thought I'd escaped the judgemental "mean girls''. Turns out there still are mean girls in college. When met my best friend a few years ago, I learned to stop caring what other people thought of me or said about me. I knew that as long as I was happy with myself, that's all that really mattered. I'm sure peers in high school had their opinions on my illness. But the thing is it's MY illness. Anxiety comes in many forms, and 99.9% of the time, anxiety is different for everybody. Although I've been through a lot with my anxiety, it's something I feel that has contributed to my identity. I don't believe that I would be as compassionate and empathetic towards others if I didn't have a mental illness. It's been a long time coming, 9 years to be exact, and even now, things aren't sunshine and rainbows. But I'm starting to love myself for who I am. For everything that comes with me. My mind, my spirit, and my body. I've decided to start blogging because my writing has always been an outlet for me. I want it to be a safe place for others to reflect on things they may go through as well. I want my writing to provoke thought in other people. I accredit a lot of my wisdom to my anxiety disorder. I know what it feels like to be at such a low and dark place, so in turn, I never want to make people feel like I have felt. I'm not just referring to my disorder but rather how other people have made me feel in general. I know that my compassion is something that can be taken advantage of, but I want to be remembered for that quality. I'll leave you with this: you are not your illness, your major, your profession, or your social status. Those are things that attribute to your character, but they're not the things that define you. Personally, I don't think there are things that specifically define us. You're just you. Plain and simple. But what is it that you want people to remember you for?


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