Self-care, self-care – what do you know about it? Would you be surprised to learn that not many people know about self-care, or how to implement it? It really baffles me because I feel as though self-care is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves; and we seriously cannot go through life without it or we'll crash and burn.
So many things tug and pull at us on a daily basis and demand so much of our care, attention, and time. We have a job that we're required to show up to and perform; we have bills that we are required to pay; we have health that we are required to keep stable; we have friends that we have to be there for, support, and make time for; we have family that we have to take care of and check up on, etcetera! There is a world out there that depends on us and we've got to give it our best, so tell me how one is supposed to do that when one has nothing left to give?
You can't pour from an empty cup… Ever heard that before?
Metaphorically speaking, we are cups. We have the ability to hold liquid to our own capacity and we have the ability to pour said liquid into other people and other things. We pour, and we pour, and we pour, and we pour, until finally there is nothing left to pour.
What is the liquid we hold?
Well, this "liquid" is basically just pieces of yourself. It's your mental stability, peace of mind, your energy, your happiness, your sanity, your wellbeing, and all of the other things that keep you functioning to the best of your abilities.
You could think of it like a fighting video game, Mortal Kombat or Tekken (because I love Tekken!) The more hits you take, the more your health bar goes down, and once your health bar is empty, you "die" and lose the game. However, in this situation, your health "juice" is in a cup, not a bar, and the end result isn't as severe as a video game… and rather than taking hits, you are freely pouring your own "juice" into all of the aforementioned things that tug and pull at you on a daily basis. Eventually, pouring until there is nothing left to keep you going.
Well, what happens when your cup is empty?
When you're constantly trying to pour from an empty cup, you find that you are more stressed, more overwhelmed, more tired – physically, mentally, and emotionally. You're drained, literally and figuratively. You don't have the energy to get up and go to work, but you do. You don't feel like seeing your friends, but you do. You're not happy, you're stressed and you feel like you can't catch a break. You can't give all of your effort to the things that need you because you have nothing left of yourself to give. You lose your sanity. You lose your mental stability. You lose yourself. & you crash. Now, who would want to live life this way?
So, how can I fill my cup back up when it's empty?
It's honestly so simple: Self-care. Put yourself first for once and take time for yourself. Be aware of the things that truly make you happy and make you feel good, and just do them! Give yourself time to think and literally just let your mind wonder. On top of that, make sure you are in a good position in life, hold yourself accountable, make sure you're working to better yourself. How's your bank account looking? Is that credit score going up? What did you mess up today and how can you fix it? Just anything that puts you in a better position than you were before.
One of my favorite things to do for self-care is to put my phone on vibrate, play feel-good-music through a speaker, and work on a jigsaw puzzle. I'm able to concentrate on things other than what has drained me. I go from being lost in the music, to being lost in the puzzle, to being lost in my thoughts. It's peaceful and it allows me to reconnect with myself, which replenishes my "health juice," essentially, filling my cup back up.
You take time to restore your energy, to be happy again, to regain mental stability, to prioritize and organize the things in your life that require so much of you. You take time to refresh yourself so that you can give your best effort to these things. You take time for YOU and your wellbeing.
Well, isn't that selfish of me to do?
No, not at all! It is actually one of the most selfless things you can do.
Yes, you are taking time to yourself to restore yourself back to a place of stability, happiness, calmness, serenity, etc. But, ultimately, you are doing this so that you are able to give yourself to the people and things that are always puling and tugging at you. You are able to put forth so much effort into other things and other people because you have it in you to do so. It's a win-win situation. You're good, so the things you pour into are good. Get it?
More importantly, you have to always remember that you have your own life to live and putting yourself first does not mean that you don't care about anyone or anything else. You are simply just putting them on a temporary hold until you can further assist them, and that is perfectly fine. Prioritizing is your best friend when it comes to self-care, and you will always be your first priority.
No matter if the things and people you pour into are obligatory or you feel like they are obligatory, your number one obligation will always be to make sure you are in a space to do for others by doing for yourself first.
Remember to take care! & I mean good care.
