Relationships can be a struggle sometimes. Personally, I am not one to have a lot of relationships, but when I do have a relationship it sticks for a while. All relationships are different, and I respect that. However, I do believe that in a relationship the two individuals should, in fact, be individuals in a relationship together.
I am my own person. You are your own person. We are separate individuals who have our own thoughts, actions, and beliefs. The other day I was in a conversation, and I was kind of shocked by some of the things that were said. It wasn’t bad; it was just something I think happens more often than it should.
The idea is that a person's actions are being dictated by someone who is supposed to support them and love them. I get that in a relationship you don’t want to do something to upset your SO, but if it restricts you then maybe there should be some reevaluation. Try thinking “Am I okay with this?” instead of “Is my significant other okay with this?”.
I don’t like the idea of being controlled as if I belong to someone, and I don’t like when it appears others are. My boyfriend knows where I stand, and that he doesn’t tell me I can’t do something. If he tries he knows it won’t work well, and also that I’m a little stubborn so it will make me want to do it more. He also knows I make my own decisions. I respect my boyfriend, but I first respect myself.
I feel that sometimes we get so caught up in relationships that we forget ourselves as individuals. You should always respect your SO and your relationship with them, but respect yourself first. If you can’t put yourself first, you shouldn’t try to put another person into the equation. Listen to yourself before you do what someone else tells you to.
I also think that asking permission in a relationship can hinder it. Instead of asking permission I find that it helps to tell them what your plans are and ask for an opinion. This way you receive their input, but you are also the one in charge of the choice being made. A relationship should be working together; not one person making all the decisions.
Like I said earlier, respect in a relationship is so important. You need to respect yourself, respect your SO, and respect the relationship. I know this might sound weird, but you need to respect that your SO respects themselves. They may decide to do something that you aren’t particularly okay with, but remember that they respect themselves and know what is best for them.
Control is not a good way to grow a relationship. Communicate, but don’t restrict. If you are young and in a relationship, you are still growing as your own individual person. You need room in a relationship to grow as individuals, as well as letting the relationship grow itself. You may not think that there are control issues in the relationship, but any control of someone other than yourself restricts growth.
In a relationship, you are two people who need to work together. Respect each other, but respect yourself first. Don’t get so caught up in being with someone that you forget yourself along the way.
