In thinking about what to write about this week, I realized that there are many things I could write about. I've got entire notes with paragraphs on my phone dedicated to rambling about things that matter to me. But I couldn't possibly write an entire well-formed essay on any one of them. No, they are unresolved ideas and explorations in progress. I have no idea what to conclude from them, so they all end with the conclusion: I have no idea.

What follows will be one selection. One from my collection of thoughts. Perhaps I will make selections my weekly article. (Note: there will be excessive use of parentheses; for the abridged version, kindly ignore them and their contents.)

Goats

We're all goats. Each and every one of us. We and us, referring to students in general. According to middle school me, we're all being brainwashed and led around (like goats).

We had just had a long day of standardized testing (don't even get me started on that!) and the teachers brought us outside for an "extended recess". Being me, I asked a teacher if I could go inside and get a book ("The Life and Death of Adolf Hitler," great book I still keep at my bedside). He promptly told me to "just be a kid!" and run around and have fun. Being me, I got angry. I am not "just a kid" and not every kid wants to run around outside and it was perfectly ignorant of him to just generalize like that. (After all, women are finally getting their rights; kids shouldn't be treated as inferior or "less than" or "different" just because of their quality that sets them apart from that white, adult male standard, either.) Then, I asked another teacher. Her response was not much better: "I don't feel like taking you inside because that means I would have to get up and walk." And being me, again, I got angrier. And I formed the "goat" concept.

Simply put, students are at the bottom of the food chain. They are the goats, taught to fit into the mold of society from birth. They are raised and rounded up by shepherd boys, teachers. And teachers, well, they depend on the local government, farmers, for employment. In turn, they must instruct (read: brainwash, train) the goats in a manner satisfactory to the farmers. And then, the local government receives its funding from state government, or in my metaphor, the village leader. This village leader has the power to shun farmers and ruin their businesses. So, this leader has leverage, and can use it to tell farmers what kind of teachings they should instruct their shepherd boys to impart upon the goats. But the state government has something to worry about, the national government, the king of the land. This king of the land can take away the village leader's power and wealth in a heartbeat, so he can control what the goats are taught. And this king, he is put into command by "God" or some other being or idea (in the real world, "God" could represent God, or some secret society, or a shadowy power, or whatever), which can destroy him if he makes a wrong move. So the king obeys "God," who can have the goats trained in whatever he wants. After all, it all comes down to the goats.

This was my world view in the seventh grade. Strangely, it holds some truth to it. But then, it can't be right that there's some secret power manipulating the world...or can it? After all, those conspiracy theories — some people believe them. But for now, all I can say is:

I have no idea.