You have just woken up. You go to the bathroom. In a matter of seconds, you find yourself lying on the bathroom floor because of a seizure.
I write about my seizures frequently. It's how I cope. When I have a seizure, how I let out all of the unknown feelings is writing. I have numerous journals full of all the stories about my seizures and feelings that came with them.
This story, however, started as a normal morning would start. I had just woken up. I went to the bathroom. I would quickly find myself lying on the bathroom floor between the wall and the toilet. Fun, right!? I had been in similar positions before. I know what to do. I make sure I'm strong enough to stand up without falling. I make sure I didn't bite my tongue or lip. And I make sure nothing feels sore right now. Everything was good. I went back to normal life.
I took my medication, got some breakfast, and went back to my room. I was tired again. I was frustrated. I had just woken up and I already had a seizure. I always think of the what if. What if I hit my head? What if I got seriously hurt? What if I woke up and didn't know who I was? What if I didn't know where I was?
You have just woken up and all of a sudden you are on the bathroom floor. You know how you got there. You wish it wasn't like this. You would have liked to start your day off on a brighter note. Your brain decided to steal that from you. Your brain decided it wants to mess with you.
You have just woken up and thought today was going to be great. It starts out on the bathroom floor because of a seizure. You're not hurt but it still sucks. You have to go on about your day totally normal. You can't have a pity party because that's not how life works. You have to go to work. You have to live.
Finding yourself on the bathroom floor isn't fun.
It isn't fun to be aware of all of it. It isn't fun to know exactly why you're now lying on the floor squeezed against the wall and toilet. It's happened to me far too often. Imagine it for a second. You're helplessly lying there. You can't talk. No one is home.
Despite all of this, today can be beautiful. It will be beautiful! Life may throw curveballs our way, but we get to decide how we handle it. I know I choose to look at the positive. I could have hit my head. I could have broken a bone. I didn't, though. I can look at the negative side of things or I can see the positive side of things. I choose to see the positive.
