Sometimes, I feel like I am waiting for people to see right through me. I am waiting for someone to recognize that I am only half as competent as I pretend to be.
Since my twentieth birthday flew by, I've done some reflecting. I have a very realistic view of my own abilities, which I admit can only be partially responsible for my successes and wholly responsible for my failures. There are a lot of people that work "behind the scenes" to help me maintain my composure on a daily basis.
Among these are my roommates, who I suspect have been clearing my dishes out of the sink before I get the chance to, and who will tempt me with the occasional cookie. My friends in chemistry, with whom I have sat through many late nights with, working on lab reports and studying for exams. My professors in office hours, who give me advice about how to find balance and my options for improvement. My various research mentors, who are endlessly patient with me as I find different mistakes to make every week. My family, who send me pictures and videos of my cat and various other things that remind me that I have a home.
Without any of these people, I would feel utterly discouraged. This year has been very difficult for me, and I know that it has not been easy for someone very close to me, as well. I would like to use the remainder of this article to especially acknowledge the efforts of my boyfriend, who also doubles as my personal tech support.
In February- likely due to a week of heavy rain - my laptop broke . I completely lost it, because I didn't back anything up (I am an idiotic disaster with technology). In my mind, I had just lost weeks of precious data.
I tried to resolve this issue with what my distraught brain thought was the best solution.
Of course, it didn't work. In between sobs, I consulted with personal tech support, who then arrived at my door in half an hour, (he was drenched from the rain), plugged my laptop into the power source, removed the battery, put the battery back in, took my laptop completely apart, inspected and dried each part carefully, reassembled my laptop...
and declared that he had no idea how to fix it.
Nonetheless, I appreciated that he spent so much time trying to resolve my problem. I appreciated him even more the next day, however, when he told me he had rescued everything off my hard drive and it was safely stored on his PC.
When I got another laptop, an even older model from home, and found out that it was incompatible with certain software programs (including MNova, meaning no NMR analysis!) I was beside myself. Personal tech support again saved the day.
Since then, various other mishaps have occurred (I am not having such a great semester) but he's supported me through every single one of them- despite receiving many a tearful phone call in the middle of the night.
Thank you very much, personal tech support. Thank you also to everyone working "behind the scenes" for me. Without you all, I could never keep going on like this.
