The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

Everybody wants it; but, not everyone is willing to work for it.
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We live in a society where caring about someone too much is looked down upon. High school boys should not express their feelings, and girls are too crazy to deal with. The goal for love is quantity over quality and being tied down is looked at as a bad thing.

Before I say anything let me express this: There is no right or wrong way to love. The definition of love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Yes, I do love my dog. Yes, I do love grilled cheese. Yes, I do love a boy.

Guess what? None of these things concern anyone else. It's not a concern because the definition of love, an intense feeling of deep affection, cannot be felt by others what I am feeling.

Constantly, we are comparing our relationships to others, to movies, etc. Here's a secret: No couple has the perfect relationship.

They don't tell you what happens after the movie ends. He becomes an abusive drunk, or she starts to sleep around with everyone at the office. They seem like the perfect couple so that is what we crave. We become fixated on these "fairy-tales" portrayed by the media. When you watch "The Longest Ride" you want to end up with a cowboy. When you watch "10 Things I Hate About You" you want to be the girl that changes the bad boy. Movies, books, and shows simply end. Relationships will go on as long as you will let them. The movies do not show you how the man comes home from work and is pissed off that supper is not ready; then, she throws a fit because he never does the dishes. One of them ends up sleeping on the couch, and even after they make up, they will probably end up having the same fight three weeks later.

In a long term relationship, you will start to have those doubts. "Are we together because we are supposed to be, or are we together just because we have been for 6 years?" Things are going to get boring. The honeymoon stage cannot last for an eternity. However, it will become boring and stressful with any one person you are with. Do not think "What if someone out there is better?" because what is better? You may end up with someone who doesn't drink every night, but you just lost the faithful husband who drinks every once in awhile to be with the sober guy that gets around.

The saddest thing of all is that the things that we fell in love with tend to become the reason for our annoyance. You may have fallen in love with the way he snored and you thought it was so adorable. Now, it is merely the reason for your lack of sleep. You may have fallen in love with the way she was so generous. Now when she donates to charity you are furious that she consistently gives all your money away. I hope that in your relationship you can find the good out of all the bad that you first fell in love with.

People are going to mistakes. Whether you forgive them or not is your choice. However, "better" does not exist. One human being is not better than another. We are merely different.

Although I say this, there are circumstances that couples should not last. If you simply do not love them, if your trust is broken beyond repair, if they abuse you, or if they only choose themselves. However, every relationship is different. The most uncanny relationships work out, and the perfect couples are crumbling behind the scenes.

There is something that I was once told that changed my view on relationships and how I act in them.

One day, I met an elderly couple that was still head over heels for each other. She lived in a hospital bed where nurses and doctors took care of her daily needs. This may seem lonely, however, she was rarely alone. Every day her husband came to the hospital and waited for her to get up, and he left after she fell asleep. Making small talk, I asked "So, how long have you two love birds been together," and she said "Over sixty years."

The curiosity got the best of me when I asked, "How? Can you tell me your secret?" I joked that my boyfriend and I had been together for about a year at this time, and most days I did not know how to handle him. They looked at each other and smiled.

"Just take it one step at a time... One day at a time. You will have your good days, but you will also have your bad days. One day at a time."

Ever since then, I have pondered what she revealed to me. In this busy life we get so ahead of ourselves. We plan out the future when in reality we do not know what the next hour holds. We worry about the future as if it is promised.

No relationship is perfect, because there is not a single soul who is flawless. We make mistakes, because we are human. Everyone has their good days, and days where we all fall short of the reasons someone fell in love with us.

Just take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

Cover Image Credit: NevenaBK

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50 One-Liners College Girls Swap With Their Roomies As Much As They Swap Clothes

"What would I do without you guys???"
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1. "Can I wear your shirt out tonight?"

2. "Does my hair look greasy?"

3. "We should probably clean tomorrow..."

4. "What should I caption this??"

5. "Is it bad if I text ____ first??"

6. "Should we order pizza?"

7. *Roommate tells an entire story* "Wait, what?"

8. "How is it already 3 AM?"

9. "I need a drink."

10. "McDonalds? McDonalds."

11. "GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED."

12. "Okay like, for real, I need to study."

13. "Why is there so much hair on our floor?"

14. "I think I'm broke."

15. "What do I respond to this?"

16. "Let's have a movie night."

17. "Why are we so weird?"

18. "Do you think people will notice if I wear this 2 days in a row?"

19. "That guy is so stupid."

20. "Do I look fat in this?"

21. "Can I borrow your phone charger?

22. "Wanna go to the lib tonight?"

23. "OK, we really need to go to the gym soon."

24. "I kinda want some taco bell."

25. "Let's go out tonight."

26. "I wonder what other people on this floor think of us."

27. "Let's go to the mall."

28. "Can I use your straightener?"

29. "I need coffee."

30. "I'm bored, come back to the room."

31. "Should we go home this weekend?"

32. "We should probably do laundry soon."

33. "Can you see through these pants?"

34. "Sometimes I feel like our room is a frat house..."

35. "Guys I swear I don't like him anymore."

36."Can I borrow a pencil?"

37. "I need to get my life together...."

38. "So who's buying the Uber tonight?"

39. "Let's walk to class together."

40. "Are we really pulling an all-nighter tonight?"

41. "Who's taking out the trash?"

42. "What happened last night?"

43. "Can you help me do my hair?"

44. "What should I wear tonight?"

45. "You're not allowed to talk to him tonight."

46. "OMG, my phone is at 1 percent."

47. "Should we skip class?"

48. "What should we be for Halloween?"

49. "I love our room."

50. "What would I do without you guys???"

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Gabaldon

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4 Things My Brother Taught me Before he turned 4

4 of many lessons my beloved sibling has brought to my attention in the last four years

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On July 19, my sweet baby brother is turning four years old. And while to many that doesn't sound like a milestone or a big deal, it is. My sibling and I had a love-hate relationship from the start, as anyone would expect from an only child for 15 glorious years. That love-hate relationship quickly turned into all love, laughter and life lessons.

1. Have Fun

Quite obviously shown above in the photo, my baby brother and I have fun with each other all the time. He may just be my best friend, with his comforting words when he knows I'm sad- or just stubbed my toe- or his tickles that make me giggle like no other. I can always count on my best friend to make me laugh and have fun with me.

2. Manners Manners Manners

Having a younger sibling that follows you around and acts like a mocking bird, helps you to quickly reevaluate your actions and sayings. Having my brother, Brody, around helped me to freshen up on my mannerisms. I would frankly be embarrassed if we were to go out and he didn't say thank you or please when necessary. My father, however, took manners to the next level, the boyfriend material level... all before the age of four. When I venture out of our home with Brody or our dad and Brody, Brody always holds the door for me and anyone else coming up. There is something to be said for a child with manners.

3. Patience

Young children are always a test to your patience, no matter who they may be. Little brothers especially have a way to make sure they get on their sisters nerves. And although he may( definitely does) get on my nerves, he has taught me to take a moment and think about my own feelings and how easily or quickly I am getting annoyed and reevaluating my emotions to better myself and Brody. I have learned patience beyond my wildest dreams and hope to put them to use one day with my own curtain climbers.

4. Most Importantly... Love

Have you ever seen a child go crazy just at the fact they get to sleep in your bed. Or, when their eyes light up at the word "ice-cream" You better understand and appreciate love when you have someone there to experience everything for the first time and fall in love with every new experience all over again. Children have a great capacity to love and care for one another and my baby brother has taught me that sometimes we get what we don't think we needed and gain a lot from the experience.

To the brother I know and love, I hope your lessons to me can be a reminder or lesson to someone else. Happy fourth "Bird day!" Your sister loves you like no one else!

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