The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

Everybody wants it; but, not everyone is willing to work for it.

We live in a society where caring about someone too much is looked down upon. High school boys should not express their feelings, and girls are too crazy to deal with. The goal for love is quantity over quality and being tied down is looked at as a bad thing.

Before I say anything let me express this: There is no right or wrong way to love. The definition of love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Yes, I do love my dog. Yes, I do love grilled cheese. Yes, I do love a boy.

Guess what? None of these things concern anyone else. It's not a concern because the definition of love, an intense feeling of deep affection, cannot be felt by others what I am feeling.

Constantly, we are comparing our relationships to others, to movies, etc. Here's a secret: No couple has the perfect relationship.

They don't tell you what happens after the movie ends. He becomes an abusive drunk, or she starts to sleep around with everyone at the office. They seem like the perfect couple so that is what we crave. We become fixated on these "fairy-tales" portrayed by the media. When you watch "The Longest Ride" you want to end up with a cowboy. When you watch "10 Things I Hate About You" you want to be the girl that changes the bad boy. Movies, books, and shows simply end. Relationships will go on as long as you will let them. The movies do not show you how the man comes home from work and is pissed off that supper is not ready; then, she throws a fit because he never does the dishes. One of them ends up sleeping on the couch, and even after they make up, they will probably end up having the same fight three weeks later.

In a long term relationship, you will start to have those doubts. "Are we together because we are supposed to be, or are we together just because we have been for 6 years?" Things are going to get boring. The honeymoon stage cannot last for an eternity. However, it will become boring and stressful with any one person you are with. Do not think "What if someone out there is better?" because what is better? You may end up with someone who doesn't drink every night, but you just lost the faithful husband who drinks every once in awhile to be with the sober guy that gets around.

The saddest thing of all is that the things that we fell in love with tend to become the reason for our annoyance. You may have fallen in love with the way he snored and you thought it was so adorable. Now, it is merely the reason for your lack of sleep. You may have fallen in love with the way she was so generous. Now when she donates to charity you are furious that she consistently gives all your money away. I hope that in your relationship you can find the good out of all the bad that you first fell in love with.

People are going to mistakes. Whether you forgive them or not is your choice. However, "better" does not exist. One human being is not better than another. We are merely different.

Although I say this, there are circumstances that couples should not last. If you simply do not love them, if your trust is broken beyond repair, if they abuse you, or if they only choose themselves. However, every relationship is different. The most uncanny relationships work out, and the perfect couples are crumbling behind the scenes.

There is something that I was once told that changed my view on relationships and how I act in them.

One day, I met an elderly couple that was still head over heels for each other. She lived in a hospital bed where nurses and doctors took care of her daily needs. This may seem lonely, however, she was rarely alone. Every day her husband came to the hospital and waited for her to get up, and he left after she fell asleep. Making small talk, I asked "So, how long have you two love birds been together," and she said "Over sixty years."

The curiosity got the best of me when I asked, "How? Can you tell me your secret?" I joked that my boyfriend and I had been together for about a year at this time, and most days I did not know how to handle him. They looked at each other and smiled.

"Just take it one step at a time... One day at a time. You will have your good days, but you will also have your bad days. One day at a time."

Ever since then, I have pondered what she revealed to me. In this busy life we get so ahead of ourselves. We plan out the future when in reality we do not know what the next hour holds. We worry about the future as if it is promised.

No relationship is perfect, because there is not a single soul who is flawless. We make mistakes, because we are human. Everyone has their good days, and days where we all fall short of the reasons someone fell in love with us.

Just take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

Cover Image Credit: NevenaBK

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When you think of the word color what do you think of? Honestly what comes to mind when you think of the word “colors”? What colors did you see? Could you feel it? Or taste it? “Producing different sensations on the eye as a result of the way the object reflects or emits light.” That's the definition of colors. It produces sensation, which is the mind's way of reacting to something that is of interest or exciting.

Growing up life was very black and white, not skin colors, but life was very, do this, don’t do that, or act like this, don't act like that. I was ‘raised’ to be a good person, but I was not seeing life in full color like I was CREATED to do. I was living a life filled with contentment. Being easily satisfied with mediocrity. I wasn’t living at all, I was just going through the motions, trying to make it to the next day. I lived that way for approximately 19 years of my life, (I’m 20 years old and I just turned 20 in December.)

See life is more than just black and white, there is a plethora of colors everywhere you look. We miss it every day we miss the beauty in life by looking at it so closed minded and believing that this is what life is supposed to be like just black and white. Thats a lie and a false hood we’ve (I’ve) got to stop believing. Life is filled with so much joy and peace but we miss it all the time by being so caught up in our own crap that we miss the miracles that are happening every day. What if I told you that you could miss the blessing you've been waiting to come to pass because you've chosen to look at life through your own eyes with your own spectacles focusing too much on the little things and not seeing the big picture? Too often we miss out on what God has for us because we think we know what is best for ourselves. I can't even begin to tell you how I really don’t know what is best for me, what’s best for me doesn’t come from myself, it comes from He who created me. I have truly tasted and seen the goodness that is God. I can confidently tell you that now I am seeing in perfect colors, life isn’t black and white anymore he wiped away all the dullness that was my old life, gave me a fresh pair of eyes that can see life the way it was meant to be seen, something to be cherished, loved, and lived abundantly. The old ways of life I was used to living, and thinking are no more, I struggle but through those struggles I am able to see God in it, and He is the definition of colors giving this sensation that I can’t even begin to explain. The color He brings into my life each day is captivating. Life is more than just black and white its filled with colors.

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How To Have a Safe and Memorable Prom 2018

The season is upon us

Spring is upon us and it is the time of year where high school boys and girls go out of their way to plan the perfect night. But what constitutes the perfect night for a 16 and 17 year old? Well, it always depends on the person, but I can definitely say there are only a few ways to guarantee safety and a good time. Prom is a rite of passage and should be treated as such.

Keep communication open. When you are going out as a group of teenagers, your parents tend to want to know where you are and what you are doing. This is not a ploy for control, but better yet a way to make sure you stay safe and come home alive. We live in a world where getting 'lit' is more important than maintaining a level of responsibility. So in short, keep your parental units updated on any change of plans or locations for the night.

Do not drink underage. Seriously, you can have a good time without alcohol. Don't spike the punch or try to bring in flasks. This for one is illegal but also unsafe. Some people drive themselves to and from and unsuspecting patrons would not take kindly to a DUI or death of anyone else. This includes the use of drugs. Just do not do it.

Go as a group. If you are trying to decide whether or not to go stag, with a date, or in a group, I highly suggest going as a group. You can always ditch the dance and go bowling after a few songs anyway. As long as you remember to remind your parental units. You will make many memories and save tons of money carpooling

Eat light before the dance. You do not want to be feeling sick while getting down at the dance, or want your clothes feeling tight and uncomfortable. After all you just spent a fortune on that dress and your makeup took forever. Eat light and non messy. Then after the dance IHOP or Waffle House, whatever after prom tradition you have to live.

Do not let petty drama ruin your night. Prom is a very important night but it can sometimes turn into a teenage drama fest if you let some things get to you. Have a good tie being you and having a good time with your friends.

No one can promise a perfect night, but you can always have a good time with what is given to you. So go out, be free, have a fantastic time and remember: BE SAFE.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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