The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

Everybody wants it; but, not everyone is willing to work for it.

We live in a society where caring about someone too much is looked down upon. High school boys should not express their feelings, and girls are too crazy to deal with. The goal for love is quantity over quality and being tied down is looked at as a bad thing.

Before I say anything let me express this: There is no right or wrong way to love. The definition of love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Yes, I do love my dog. Yes, I do love grilled cheese. Yes, I do love a boy.

Guess what? None of these things concern anyone else. It's not a concern because the definition of love, an intense feeling of deep affection, cannot be felt by others what I am feeling.

Constantly, we are comparing our relationships to others, to movies, etc. Here's a secret: No couple has the perfect relationship.

They don't tell you what happens after the movie ends. He becomes an abusive drunk, or she starts to sleep around with everyone at the office. They seem like the perfect couple so that is what we crave. We become fixated on these "fairy-tales" portrayed by the media. When you watch "The Longest Ride" you want to end up with a cowboy. When you watch "10 Things I Hate About You" you want to be the girl that changes the bad boy. Movies, books, and shows simply end. Relationships will go on as long as you will let them. The movies do not show you how the man comes home from work and is pissed off that supper is not ready; then, she throws a fit because he never does the dishes. One of them ends up sleeping on the couch, and even after they make up, they will probably end up having the same fight three weeks later.

In a long term relationship, you will start to have those doubts. "Are we together because we are supposed to be, or are we together just because we have been for 6 years?" Things are going to get boring. The honeymoon stage cannot last for an eternity. However, it will become boring and stressful with any one person you are with. Do not think "What if someone out there is better?" because what is better? You may end up with someone who doesn't drink every night, but you just lost the faithful husband who drinks every once in awhile to be with the sober guy that gets around.

The saddest thing of all is that the things that we fell in love with tend to become the reason for our annoyance. You may have fallen in love with the way he snored and you thought it was so adorable. Now, it is merely the reason for your lack of sleep. You may have fallen in love with the way she was so generous. Now when she donates to charity you are furious that she consistently gives all your money away. I hope that in your relationship you can find the good out of all the bad that you first fell in love with.

People are going to mistakes. Whether you forgive them or not is your choice. However, "better" does not exist. One human being is not better than another. We are merely different.

Although I say this, there are circumstances that couples should not last. If you simply do not love them, if your trust is broken beyond repair, if they abuse you, or if they only choose themselves. However, every relationship is different. The most uncanny relationships work out, and the perfect couples are crumbling behind the scenes.

There is something that I was once told that changed my view on relationships and how I act in them.

One day, I met an elderly couple that was still head over heels for each other. She lived in a hospital bed where nurses and doctors took care of her daily needs. This may seem lonely, however, she was rarely alone. Every day her husband came to the hospital and waited for her to get up, and he left after she fell asleep. Making small talk, I asked "So, how long have you two love birds been together," and she said "Over sixty years."

The curiosity got the best of me when I asked, "How? Can you tell me your secret?" I joked that my boyfriend and I had been together for about a year at this time, and most days I did not know how to handle him. They looked at each other and smiled.

"Just take it one step at a time... One day at a time. You will have your good days, but you will also have your bad days. One day at a time."

Ever since then, I have pondered what she revealed to me. In this busy life we get so ahead of ourselves. We plan out the future when in reality we do not know what the next hour holds. We worry about the future as if it is promised.

No relationship is perfect, because there is not a single soul who is flawless. We make mistakes, because we are human. Everyone has their good days, and days where we all fall short of the reasons someone fell in love with us.

Just take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

Cover Image Credit: NevenaBK

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20 Signs You Are In Tri Sigma

"Hey look at us! We are Tri Sigma girls!"

Tri Sigma has been my best decision in college. I have met so many friends I normally would not have met. It is crazy how different we all are but we really are not that different at all. I love these girls, and if you are a Tri Sigma, I bet you love them too.

If you are a Tri Sigma., you totally get this. We can all relate to these things being part of the best sorority (in my opinion!):

1. Pearls are a staple in your wardrobe.

2. Since our symbol is the boat, you have a new love for that beach theme.

3. If purple wasn't your favorite color, it is now!

4. Glitter is your second favorite color.

5. You cringe every time someone calls you a "Tri Sig." We are Tri SigMA!

6. You get a little emotional when you watch your Little get initiated because she finally gets to share this sisterhood with you.

7. You value Wisdom, Power, Faith, Hope, and Love.


8. No matter the years or miles apart, you know your sisters will be close at heart.

9. You give Sigma snaps everytime Carrie Underwood is on the radio or TV.

10. You know the struggle to find the perfect white dress.

11. April 20th means something different to you compare to other college students.

12. You have gained a new confidence in yourself as a woman.

13. You know Robbie Page was an inspiration, but also pretty cool kid with a loving momma.

14. You have a whole wall or bookshelf dedicated to your Sigma treasures.

15. You have come to realize that as a part of Tri Sigma, you are a part of something bigger than yourself.

16. You have been referred to as the sorority with the 3 Es.

17. You know the secret about the OG Harmony CareBear.

18. Violets are one of your favorite flowers.

19. Your favorite holiday is Bid Day.

20. You can't help but throw what you know where ever you go.

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Being in A Rush to Grow Up

Reminiscing On The Past

Remember when you were younger and you used to look at college students and think, "Wow, I can not wait to be an adult." WRONG! Now that we are in college and "adulting," we realize we do not have our lives together one bit. We struggle to wake up in the morning and get to class, and if we do get to class we are lucky if we don't look like a homeless person who just crawled out of a dumpster.

I remember being so excited to grow up because I would be able to do all sorts of things that I couldn't do when I was little. It all starts with getting your permit, rushing to be 15 and not realizing what we were leaving behind. Quickly after comes 16, getting your license, hopefully a car and feeling a whole new sense of independence. That feeling of being able to go anywhere and on your own time.

After the excitement of having your driver's license wears off, then comes the big 18. The time of being completely legally allowed to be independent. Your parents can kick you out, so play your cards right, am I right. At this point the excitement sets in of heading off to college and becoming your own person. Some may not go off to continue their education though, some may go other paths which can be equally exciting.

Once you get into your first couple years of college you realize at this point that you really don't have yourself together. You get fat, you go to class, and you probably cry more than you should. It's okay, it's normal, there could be worse things happening to you, right? All you are doing now is sitting around and waiting to turn 21 so you can legally do all the things you have already been doing.

But then what? You're 21, you are legally allowed to do everything you always looked forward to. But you look back on how simple things used to be before all the hoopla of growing up happened. Do you ever wish you could just turn back time for awhile and take things slower? Enjoy the times when your mom had to drive you to practice, and your dad gave you hell on not dating until you were 30.

Part of life is growing up, but sometimes it is about looking back and wishing it didn't go by too fast. Now all we can do is sit here, fat and in debt, and look back on the times when things were simpler and we thought growing up was this ideal to be had. Enjoy now, because you are just going to get older and older and wish you were back in the days that you are currently living in.

Cover Image Credit: Google

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