When I started my first semester of college, I had no idea how many crises I'd be facing.
Between the months of September and December my car died, I went to the emergency room (thankfully it was nothing serious), my phone was stolen and my laptop died on the same day, and I lost my debit card. I also faced a couple of the rough parts of a relationship for the first time, and it was my first time balancing school and work.
Because my parents live on the other side of the globe, I had to learn a lot about relying on God to take care of my needs. He provided amazing people to step in and take care of me, and it's helped me to build deep connections with people at my school and in town. There were quite a few tearful nights, and again and again, I've been amazed by God's sovereignty and faithfulness regardless of what I've faced.
Despite all the times when I felt like my entire world was crashing and burning, I'm still alive, safe, and healthy.
There's a quote by FDR that's come to mind several times throughout the semester: "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." These storms have been tough, but I know that they're going to be far from the last or the most difficult of this new realm of adulthood. I don't know what I'm being prepared for, but I do feel like I've come a long way since the beginning of the year.
Chaos is no longer the unexpected, and I feel more ready to tackle problems head-on.
Though I do believe many of these things were the work of the enemy in an attempt to discourage me, I believe God has been using this to draw me nearer to Himself. There was an especially humbling moment that came in the middle of phone crisis: I realized that I'd never prayed for anything as intensely as I'd prayed to know the location of that phone.
Of all the things I've prayed for in my life, a piece of replaceable technology was my biggest concern. I was disgusted with myself. I'd lost sleep alternating between prayer and worry, and at the end of the day... life moved on.
It forced me to take a good look at my life priorities, and I didn't like some of what I saw.
I am very thankful that I know the God who loves us despite our mess-ups and misplaced priorities. His love isn't conditional on our faithfulness and competencies. We live in a fallen world: chaos happens. He gives us the opportunity to either lean on Him or try to do this on our own strength.
In the past, I've lived trying to do things on my own, but I've found out the hard way that it's an excellent way to get completely burned out. I don't know what this next semester will bring, but I do know this: my life is in God's hands, and He's the one who will get me safe to shore.
