So, your kid's teachers have decided to put together a fun book-swap. What to buy, what to buy? Should you go gender neutral and get a science book? Do you get them a pop up Chronicles of Narnia book or maybe Junie B. Jones? How on earth do you pick a book for a kid you have never met? (if you even remember to buy a book before the day of the book-swap, guilty mama here) Well, the good news is, I can tell you what NOT to buy!
My sweet little 6 year old woke himself up bright and early Thursday morning more than ready to go to school and see what book his friend got him. 5:30 a.m. I should still be enjoying that last 30 minutes in my warm bed, nope, instead I had stubby little fingers pinching my arm to see where his "gift," was. Of course, I can not function this early, so my first response was, "Go back to bed, we aren't opening Christmas presents until everyone else is awake." More pinching and shaking. "What, child, what do you want?!" I see my son Eli standing there with a long sleeved button up, basketball shorts, soaking wet hair with what smelled like lotion in it, and cowboy boots, smiling bigger than ever. "Mama, I need the book for my book swap today, did you wrap it?" Being the wonderful, grade A, #1 mom I am I replied, "How could I forget? Of course I did. Now, you go to the laundry room and put real school clothes on while i get your things together."
Oh crap! This meant I had ignored basically every reminder text and email that his teacher had sent to me. Luckily, he has several books in his bookshelf that we bought and never touched, so they still got brand new books (no shame). I stuck his books in a sparkly gift bag, unknowingly along with $30 he had "found" inside my wallet.
A few hours went by and I get a couple messages from his teacher asking if the $30 was for his friend in the book swap. No. Lord, please give me patience with this child.
Back to the story. Eli comes home a few hours later and is SO excited to show me his books. Especially the one with the naked butt inside and the word, "penis." The next word that popped out of his mouth shocked me to laughter and a little rage, "eeeee-ructin." Apparently, this book swap had opened up the doors for my 1st grader to learn about erections, how to hide them and ejaculation. Not to mention, the talk of periods and girls going through puberty a few chapters later. My immediate thought was, "What in God's name was that parent thinking?! Why on earth would you give a 6 year old a book about puberty and "growing up" in a freaking book swap?
As I flipped through the pages and saw more and more of the book, I thought this will actually be a great resource when he is about 10 years old and his father and I are ready to discuss these issues with him. I also thought about how easy it was for me and everyone else to crucify that parent thinking it was a brainless and inappropriate gift, even though they probably had NO idea what was inside.
Everyone's first instinct was anger, disgust, tattle, tattle, tattle. After I looked into it more, I figured they probably saw the front of the book, which is called Just for Boys, cartoon style and bright on the front, and thought it would be a cute book. I honestly may have done the exact same thing! If all I saw was the front of it, I would never have suspected the first thing I would see was a penis and the words ejaculation and sperm.
Of course, I did email his teacher to let her know what happened and that next time, maybe unwrapped or in gift bags, or at least tell the parents to flip through and make sure the content is age appropriate. The parent or teacher did actually give him two books in his gift though and the other was quite nice, so it was not a total loss. Luckily, my kid has the brain of a 90 mph squirrel and has already forgotten the new word he learned, minus the definition. Let's be honest, I am not ready for that discussion. This could have gone downhill rather quickly. Moral of the story, check the kid books before you buy them; it may seem innocent, but it could open up a big, fat, can of worms!
For grins and giggles on the matter, here you go!
