You never hear about the girl whose boyfriend set her on fire and burned 90% of her body in the news. Nor do you hear about the woman who was held captive for 2 whole days while being brutally beaten and almost killed. As a crisis counselor, I see many types of cases of assault and domestic violence. This is never publicized because the media doesn't want to showcase the horrid stories that occur in people's homes. I wanted to write this article to remind people of the signs of abusive relationships because awareness is the first step in putting an end to this silent crime.
Isolation.
One of the first things a significant other will do is try to isolate you from your friends, family, basically everyone. Often times they will make you delete your social media and question where you are when you aren't home.
They may start yelling or threatening you.
Fights may begin to escalate, and the usual argument will involve yelling and threatening to hurt you.
They always apologize and say how much they love you, promising never to do it again.
If it happened before, what's going to stop them from doing it again? It doesn't matter how many times it happens, it is never okay.
They may try to take control of the finances, so you feel as if you can’t leave because you won’t have any money.
People always question the victim asking why they didn't just leave. Well, this is a big part because if someone has been isolated from their friends and family and don't have any of their own money, they may feel like they have nowhere to go and escape.
Withholding basic needs.
Perpetrators have this strong desire for control, and being able to say when you can or cannot eat or what you can or cannot wear gives them this control. Once they know they have some power, they will likely try to get more and more.
Blaming you, the victim, for things that happen.
Nothing that goes wrong is ever the abuser's fault in their eyes. By making the victim feel guilty, they may be less likely to leave because they feel like no one will believe them.
www.manhattancountryschool.org
If you or someone you know is a victim of this abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
