DAD
Start writing a post
Relationships

DAD

The sweetest complicated word in the world.

63
DAD

The raised eyebrows. The infuriated glares. The judgemental looks. I've always been petrified of my dad's fury. I've always felt like I had to restrict myself to live. He's always held the conviction that a man should dominate a woman's life and that it's an 'ideal' woman's duty to be subservient to her husband or her father. Having said that, his own mother is a strong matriarch and has dominated the household, the lives of her descendants and even that of her husband. It's jarring to me how, despite being such a bold, brazen, and an independent woman, she has, in many instances, endorsed and condoned the patriarchal and chauvinistic demeanour of her sons.

I've often witnessed events contributing to the strenuous relationship of my parents and trust me, it's abysmal. It gives me a sense of how morbidly dysfunctional we are as a family at times. My father believes that raising his voice is an ideal way of exhibiting supremacy and authority and while he was busy following this conviction, he has no idea about the amount of misery and suffering he has inflicted on my mother, my sister, and me. He has no idea that the very reason why he never receives a voluntary hug, a warm smile or a sense of thrill from me is because all the treacherous sexist words he spewed still ring in my head and his displeasing behaviour, which he has portrayed in umpteen occasions, still haunts me. Wounds heal, but they always leave some scars. It's profoundly commendable to see how my mother has been enduring his mood swings, his unprecedented eruptions, and his authoritative chauvinism for over 20 years now. I couldn't have done the same. I don't think I can ever do it.

When I finally left for states, I felt like a bird who has been released from a cage of judgements, fear, restrictions, and confinement. The liberty to dictate my own terms and lifestyle was incredible. However, at the same time, I tend to respect my parent's policies as both of them hail from humble beginnings and have created everything for themselves from scratch with their own guts, guile, hard work, and values. Although, they've always handed me things on a silver platter, they have never failed to teach me about a life without privileges. They have never failed at teaching me about the significance of perseverance and the incorporation of strong values in life.

On the other side, make no mistakes, I am proud of the empire he has built for himself and am proud of his magnanimous and phenomenal reputation and aim to bolster it further. I am also incredibly proud of him for being the prodigy of the family and for building everything for himself from scratch. The flummery, the lavish lifestyle, and the charm I possess today is all a gift of his hard work. The massive respect I have for him supersedes my loathing for his occasional outbursts. Moreover, he has always encouraged me to achieve phenomenal things in life and has always been my rock. He's always taught me to "sing for my supper," not follow the herd, and take the road less travelled.

I've chosen to outweigh the negatives with the positives in my relationship with my father and have started accepting the fact that people are who they are as a result of the myriad circumstances they are surrounded by, their past experiences, and their upbringing. My father never raised me like his mother raised him. In recent years, I've been more candid and expressive with my father about my experiences, well-being, and my thoughts. My mother and I see a very positive change in his comportment.Such gradual progress only gives me hope about my flourishing relationship with him.

These two sides of the coin of my father's personality keep flipping every now and then. I choose to see the good, move forward from the bad and honour him anyway. The least I can do is conduct myself with dignity, keep my cool and resolve, and march forward.

Stephen Chbosky, in the book turned movie 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' very rightly puts it "So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

39828
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

24402
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

950324
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

130118
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments