If family is the glue of life, then friends are like tape.They help to make your foundation more solid, sound, and generally better. While both serve the same important purpose, many people forget that unlike glue, tape can easily be removed.
So when a friendship goes south, it can change your ideas about loyalty and trust in others. Especially those of whom you have been through so much with. If the parting came during a difficult time, or they had seen you through many harsh realities, it can be incredibly hard to understand their perspective.
Your first inclination may be to react, or ask why, or challenge your friends' choices. The worst action to take in this situation would be to ask the person to reconsider. As a friend yourself, part of your job includes respecting the other persons' decision even when that verdict doesn't support you in any way.
You could, instead, try to challenge your perception of this person as someone who caused you difficulty. Remembering your previously standing friendship will help you find the best form of acceptance.
If you think about it, reacting ends up being the easy response. Anyone can react to a situation, but few can call upon the wisdom within them to seek more answers and find forgiveness. After all, the person could need your understanding now more than ever. It's never easy for a person to detach from a valuable relationship.
This individual could themself struggle to make peace with one or more areas of their life, and so they found this extreme response (to cut you out) to be the only viable solution. Always remember that emotionally stable and healthy individuals do NOT make such drastic changes unless there is a level of toxicity to your friendship (you may not be aware of) that warrants such a response.
Your job should never include analyzing the other persons' actions; only focus on your role in the relationship.
It's also an opportunity for you to look back and reflect on the impact of the relationship. What did you like about this friend, what made you uncomfortable or upset? Can you take away anything from this for your future friendships? Do you need better communication? More boundaries? The list could go on for some time, and it’s always worth mulling over these lessons.
And if all else fails, ask yourself this: do you really want to call someone a friend that could so easily and carelessly drop you from their life?
No matter how great they were to you or how long they were around, the answer should always be: hell no!
