I Refuse To Stay Silent About My Bullies

I Refuse To Stay Silent About My Bullies

I could remember every time she told me "No one likes you. You're annoying."
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It was a Saturday morning. The weather was chilly but beautiful. I walked into Kroger to get some orange juice and eggs. Of course, I also got something that was not on my list. What would a trip to the grocery store be if you didn't do that?

I made my way to self-checkout. I swept my items quickly, paid, and started to walk outside. There's a catch though. As I walked away from the self-checkout, I saw her. I saw my old bully. I saw the bully who spoke to me with harsh and hurtful words. I saw the bully who belittled me. I saw the bully who made never want to talk in class. I saw the bully who has hurt me still to this day.

When I saw her, my body froze. When I saw her, I had flashbacks to that art class. When I saw her, my body had the reaction of crying. I'm usually not a crier, so I knew this pain was real. When I saw my bully, I could smell the room we sat in. This bully had words that were laced together perfectly solely to hurt me.

I never thought I would have to see her ever again, but I was wrong. There she was, standing right in front of me. I'm still not sure if she remembered who I was. I remembered her though. The moment I saw her, I heard it. I heard her jokes about me and her horrible words.

When I saw this bully, I realized how much she truly hurt me. Her words were suppressed into my brain. I could remember each and every time she decided to belittle me and make me feel worthless. I could remember every time she told me "No one likes you. You're annoying." It rang louder than the fire alarm in a quiet hallway.

As my body began to unfreeze, I quickly said "I'm sorry!! Excuse me!!" and sprinted out to my car. I sat there in tears. Truly bawling like no other. Why? Why did I have to see her? Why? Her face was bright and clear in my head, and her words were nonstop in my mind. I don't want to remember this stuff. I don't want to remember how she made me feel. I don't want to remember the sound of her voice, but I do.

You see, that is how it is sometimes. In fact, that is how it is a lot of the time. You can see or hear the smallest thing, and your mind is overcome with terrible memories. Bullies intend to hurt you. They intend to make your life miserable. While she didn't make my life miserable, she did inflict pain upon me.

Even though I know her words do not define who I am, it still cuts deep.

It has still done damage. I refuse to let her or any of my bullies win. Seeing her again left a beating pain in my chest, stopped my breathing for a second, and caused me to cry for a while. I didn't want to think about it, but I couldn't shake it from my head all day.

Seeing one of my bullies in Kroger that morning, was a reminder of how much people do not care. It was a reminder of how staying quiet does nothing but cause more pain. So, I'm done staying quiet. I will write about my bullies. Not for attention, but to let people know bullying can happen to anyone and everyone. I'm done staying quiet. Bullying cut me deep, and even though I won't say their names- I will not keep the words to myself anymore.


To anyone being bullied or who has been bullied,

Please know it is okay to talk about it. You are not alone.

Cover Image Credit: Encounter Campus Ministry

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13 Signs You Grew Up In The 2000s

Get ready to feel nostalgic
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The 2000s, generally referred to as the decade falling between 2000 and 2009. However, these 10 years were so much more dear to our hearts and definitely cannot be limited to this simplified definition. From hopes that you had the best kooky pen collection, to dreaming about making it to see the year 3000, there was never a dull moment. So, put on those terry cloth sweatpants, charge up that nano iPod, and read about the signs that prove you grew up in the best decade:

1. You might have jammed out to “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne on your nano IPod

Yes you had one, and your playlists consisted of the best songs the 2000s had to offer; All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy, The Killers and of course Avril Lavigne.

2. You treated your tamagotchi as if it were your child

This hand held digital pet probably occupied a little too much of your time. You spent your days feeding it scones and watching them reach a new life cycle.

3. Your wardrobe consisted of every color Juicy sweatsuit and Ed hardy tees...

Thank god these terrycloth outfits made a comeback!... Right?

4. ... Oh, and gauchos, you LOVED gauchos

These pants took over your wardrobe before yoga pants came into your life. Gauchos flooded the playground in pink, blue and tie-dye. I miss you gauchos.

5. You had the debate with your friends over whether Webkinz or Club Penguin was better, but you begged your parents for a membership to both

As soon as you logged onto your account your afternoon was booked up. While on your Webkinz you visited the curio shop, got a checkup with Dr. Quack, made a hamburger in the employment office and played cash cow in the arcade.

6. Your friends always had these in their pantry

At the end of a long, hard day of multiplication, going to your friends house for a playdate and indulging in a cosmic brownie was a necessity.

7. This was your first experience with makeup, and a cell phone

This accessory gave the lyrics "my lipgloss is cool my lipgloss be poppin" a whole new meaning. Pretending to answer the phone while smearing your lips in every color imaginable; this was the perfect mix of feeling like you were a teenager while also staying true to your child like self.

8. Lizzie Mcguire was the first ever Bitmoji

You watched her on Disney Channel as Lizzie McGuire, admired her fashion sense, and sang to "Hey Now" an endless amount of times. Hillary Duff was the definition of goals.

9. The auctioning off of silly bandz in elementary school was basically Wallstreet

The must have accessory of the 2000s.

10. You would beg your mom to buy you lunchables when you walked down the frozen food isle

Looking back on it now, eating these was probably not the best idea.

11. You had a favorite Jonas Brother

And it was NEVER Kevin.

12. You dreamed of riding around in a JetX just like the kids in PCA

You put getting a JetX on your To-Do list right under making a key necklace.

13. Instead of homework, your after school activities consisted of watching THE BEST Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows

Disney Channel and Nickelodeon will sadly never be the same. Classics include: Hannah Montana, Ned's Declassified, Suite Life of Zack and Cody and That's so Raven.

Don't you want to just go back in time and bask in the simple days where all you cared about was how good your blue eyeshadow looked and when the next Disney Channel Original movie would come on?

Cover Image Credit: flickr

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Everyone Should Take a Diversity Class

Why it is important to expand your mind and horizons

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School is a place where people go to get an education and learn more about the world around them. History, math, science, english, etc. are all extremely important subjects for students to engage in and learn about. However, I think that the education system as a whole has been lacking in terms of making students take diversity courses. I am a Women's, Gender, and Sexuality (WGSS) major, so of course I think that everyone should WANT to take a diversity course at some point in their lives, just because it is super interesting and important to me. But I get that not everyone is into that, and that is totally okay.

I remember taking my first WGSS class and being so mind-blown because I was suddenly thrust into a setting where I was challenging the world around me and asking why things are the way they are. I know at UConn most people are required to take some sort of diversity class for graduation, and I think that is great; people should be pushed out of their comfort zone. Unfortunately I have been in multiple classes with people who are only there for their requirements, and they don't take it seriously. They laugh at the things that I want to dedicate my entire career to. It's unfortunate that I can sit in a STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) class and respect the material, try my best to learn it, and not mock it, and meanwhile there are people who sit in WGSS classes and laugh and belittle the things that are so important to, not only me, but people all over the world. I don't want to make it seem like I am bashing STEM, because that is certainly not the case. People put so much into STEM and I respect that; I sometimes wish that I could be that great at it, and I am also not one to step on people's passions.

What I really want to get at here is the idea that diversity courses should be introduced to students even earlier than college. I think that our society tends to value STEM over liberal arts, and don't get me wrong, STEM is so crucial to the world and there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking or wanting to pursue STEM. Ideally, though, there would be some sort of introduction to diversity classes in high school because learning about the way the world functions, and the way that people function as a result of society, is also so essential to life and learning. WGSS, for example, teaches us about feminism and the different ways in which our system creates disadvantages for different people, people who we all interact with every day. I think that if students were required to learn about that earlier in life then they might see the world differently. If I am required to take a math class for 12+ years of my life then I think that it's fair to ask for a year in a diversity course from STEM centered students.

To conclude, I want to thank my WGSS classes for teaching me so much about the world and the way it functions, and for giving me something to be passionate about and dedicate my studies to. I want to thank my math and history and science and english classes also, for teaching me other valuable skills that I certainly use in my day-to-day life. Most of all, I want people to be introduced to diversity courses and want to engage in them because they teach skills that are just as valuable as any other class does. So if you are reading this and you have an opportunity to take a class like that, then I strongly urge you to do so, because the things you learn about in those classes exist around you whether you know it or not, so why not take the time to learn a little bit more about them?

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