I never thought I'd find him. Correction - I convinced myself he didn't exist or, at most, that I wouldn't be strong enough to go looking. I have family and I had friends before him, people who lifted me up and told me I was capable of anything if I put my mind to it; however, before him I was never truly honest with anyone about what it meant to be me. I was scared. I knew who I was - a gay man - but I didn't know if that was enough for the world, for my family, or for the few friends I've been lucky enough to make along the way.

At one of my lowest points, I took a shot into the dark. I ground my teeth into the skin of my lips and reached out anonymously in a public forum asking for someone - anyone - to help and give me advice. I explained what I had gone through, what I was still going through, and how completely lost I felt. I was battling a rancid depression and had skipped almost every class for two weeks, spending most nights not sleeping and collapsing after two or three days into mini-comas. I'd put my pen to paper and would stumble into nothing more than creative deprivation, unable to overcome the thoughts which were ransacking my mind.

Then, within hours of my virtual plea for help, my phone lit up.

The message I was about to read would be the first of hundreds - hopefully thousands, if not more - with the kindest and most compassionate man I had and likely will ever meet. From halfway across the world in the small island country of New Zealand, he found me. He listened. He comforted me. He asked questions I was too afraid to ask myself. He made being me feel so much less frightening than it had been for so long, and his support gave me the space and comfort I needed to say things I never imagined I would be capable of saying.

As we continued to talk, I learned more about him. We were alike in more ways than one, and his musical interests continue to amaze and inspire me. I had listened to singers like Phil Collins and Taylor Swift prior to meeting him, but he opened my eyes to the magic that their music was capable of. We began writing a chapter for two, starring us, and it was music which helped bind the pages of our story together. I'll never forget when TS dropped the video for "...Ready for It?" from her new album, Reputation. At first, we both found it kind of off; however, if you stick around past the abrasiveness that is the first verse, there is an exquisite flower of a chorus waiting to greet you on the other side. A reward for your perseverance and dedication, and an adequate metaphor for TS's personal journey.

It didn't stop there. I shared my writing - my poetry - with him; my pride and joy and heart spilt out onto the page. I shared it nervously knowing that opening the window into the depression which had brought him to me might very well be what pushed him away. His reaction blew me out of the water. He, a scientist and junior (now a senior!) in college, responded with a poem of his own.

Me. A poem. From a scientist. (It was good, too!) This is the closest I can come to finding something which accurately describes my reaction to said poem:

What this man and I share is a relationship unlike anything I have ever experienced. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I hope that he's the one I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with and that he feels the same, but I know that being with him will require time, patience, and a chance to see if we really are right for each other. I plan on visiting him after I graduate, but making this happen will be one of the most difficult tasks I've ever taken upon myself. I don't know how it's going to happen, but I know that It will. Somehow, someway, I will move aside the obstacles standing in my path. Regardless of what the future has in store for us, I know that my life would not be the same without him in it. He is my best friend, the highlight of my every evening, and the muse who's taken over my creative drive by storm.

I'm sharing this story with you today because I never thought I'd find someone like Kyle. I literally want to scream his name from the rooftops, but I have to temper that passion because I need to tell you something. Your Kyle is out there, too. Maybe you've already found them? Be they friend or partner, you are only one risk away from stumbling upon one of the best things that will ever happen to you - someone who will see you at your worse and lend you a shoulder to lean on as you climb out from the muck together.

Kyle's given me back my secret weapon.

Hope.