Sniff, sneeze, cough, Rice Krispie boogies. With the seasons in transition, from summer to fall, our immune systems have been thrust into the annual and inevitable roller coaster ride of sicknesses. With all the excess germs floating around, we might feel a little more lethargic, congested, and sluggish than normal, but these cold symptoms are signaling only THE most exciting thing that is EVER about to happen to you: the acquiring of what I like to call the sexy voice.
Alright, so you're in a room with the sexiest human alive. Women, let's say Zac Efron, men, let's say Angelina Jolie. Yeah, sure, they've got the eyes, the hair, the bod, the smolder, the fashion, but do they have (pause for dramatic effect) the voice? That voice that gives you goosebumps, that sends electricity through your veins? Ok, maybe they do, because let's face it, they're hot, but here's the good news, this time of year can grace you with the sexiest sounding version of your own voice that you probably didn't know existed.
Your throat may feel as if you are swallowing bricks, your nose might be so clogged that even attempting to blow it sounds like the equivalent of a trombone, and you might be the annoying Darth Vader kid in the back of the class because you can't breathe, but these are the prices we pay to be #blessed with some serious serenading vocal chops. Step aside Frank Sinatra and Celine Dion, this season you have a whole new pool of competitors coming your way. The difference: they aren't looking to win any Grammys, maybe just a few free boxes of Puff's Plus Lotion and some NyQuil.
My advice to you, the cold-inflicted individual, is to get your flirt game on. THIS is your time to shine. No need to wear a bag over your head to cover your tired eyes and runny nose. Just wear some sunglasses and an over-sized scarf, it adds to the mysterious aspect and enhances your stance on the sexiness scale from an already perfect 10 to like a 37, at least. Try dropping some casual conversation starters like "Hey, what's up?" or "Come around here often?" or possibly "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Short. Simple. To the point. It doesn't matter how simple or corny the words that come out of your mouth are. At this point, it's not the words that are doing the talking, it's that melodious raspiness escaping your lips which is making everyone swoon.
No matter how under the weather you are this season, make sure you always keep your glass half full and give thanks to your cold this time of the year. You never know who is being turned on by that sexy voice of yours, so play it up to your best advantage. The excess snot, painful soar throat, and pounding headache may not be the cat's pajamas, but the angelic symphonic vocal chops which accompany the sickness could very well give you a whole new level of sex appeal. Keep your ears open and eyes peeled for that sneezer or sniffler in one of your classes, and quickly get acquainted so you can catch that cold and squire that oh so sexy voice before you miss the chance.
