As many will remember, Southern California rained last January for the first time in several years. The Januarys before hit record heat levels, topping at 90 degrees. 90 degrees! In January! In what we call Winter!
Sun reflected off bare golden shoulders, bright teeth, and blonde hair. “That’s California living,” the stereotypically beautiful people would laugh as they headed to the beach.
The more they laughed, the higher my anxiety grew. This wasn’t the first sign of an apocalypse, but rather the fifth or sixth sign. Our planet kept crying for help, but these people just bragged about the luxury of the weather.
Could they not see? World destruction was imminent and it was starting in California
Last winter, the rain soothed my anxiety. Every raindrop delayed the annihilation of the world by a microsecond. Last year, I think we might have bought ourselves a few weeks. Maybe even a month. I welcome rain like a long lost friend
The first few days of this quarter, the sky opened and water fell. As much as the rain made it difficult to locate the new parking structure I’m assigned to park in, to find my classes on that first day, or to warm up even hours after I made my way inside, it felt like a good omen.
However, I soon realized that Californians have forgotten how to behave in such weather. As many on campus might be too young to remember rain, I found these youngsters lacking in a now archaic necessity: umbrella etiquette.
My new parking assignment has me walking across campus to get to my classes. I enjoy walking, and in the weather most are accustomed to, I even consider it a treat to stroll across our beautiful campus grounds.
Just a few days ago though, I found myself in a different situation altogether, walking against a sea of umbrellas.
First, people didn’t seem to notice the increased width of space they took up as they walked towards you. There's an additional foot on either side of them that their umbrellas occupy. Second, umbrellas have sharp edges. At the right angle and velocity, these edges could do some serious damage to a human body.
The sharp edges of one would be less than an inch away from the sharp edges of another, and yet another’s sharp edge would be even closer on the other side. Squeezing between could involve consequences. A chain of umbrellas came towards me, with several chains following behind them. The holders unaware of the potential for eye gouging.
A significant number charged forth holding these potential weapons with their noses in their phones!
There’s a simple solution I’m going to suggest to youngsters new to rain. Lift your umbrella as people pass! You can’t do this while looking at your phone though. Instagram stalking your new crush can wait. Let strangers keep their eyes.
