Quick Guide: Redefining Success

Quick Guide: Redefining Success

Become your most successful self ever by changing your perspective.
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How do you define success?

This is one of my favorite questions to ask people because I find it to have the most telling answers. You find out what people value, what motivates them and how they see the world, all through one question. In asking around, I found that there's a strong possibility that certain answers to this question contribute to unnecessary struggle or a negative outlook.

Success according to a 16-year-old high school student:

"For me it's having a house and [being] married and all that. But in big picture - being happy with your life (even though some things might suck) and having the lifestyle you want."

Success according to a wild heart:

"Success is when you achieve... For me success is when you have an idea or a goal in mind and you go through all the actions and work hard to accomplish it. Success is when you finally accomplish that thing, whether that's a small goal or a big goal. Like if you have a goal in mind and you get there and you exceed it or achieve it.....that is success."

Success according to a future fashion designer/model:

"To be happy and to have people know my name."

Success according to an LA photographer-in-training:

"Kanye West is the key to success... No my real answer is that, personally, I guess I define success as being able to not worry about being in debt. And if I feel like traveling someplace and being able to see the world, being able to do all that."

Success according to an undecided, yet profoundly motivated young man:

"Achieving my goals and doing better than my peers."

____

Most of these definitions include a common denominator of success as achieving your goals. While most could agree that's an accurate definition, but I would offer a slight twist:

Success is making progress towards your goals.

Thoughts from a 50-something man most would deem successful:

"Once you achieve your goal, you'll find out that it's not necessarily the achievement, but it was the journey towards it that was the most important. As you achieve success, it builds upon itself because you are on a journey of self-improvement. The smaller things in life no longer have such a big impact on you personally because you have created a larger purpose."

Sitting back and looking at the big picture and viewing success with an all-or-nothing mindset can leave you feeling like a failure because it's not every day that you achieve financial stability, buy your dream house, get married or get hired for your dream job.

However, every day you can make progress toward your goals which makes every day a success. You can apply for that job, create a folder of inspirational pictures of your dream home or put money from your paycheck into a savings account. You will learn exponentially more going through the uphill journey of achieving your goals than you will in that one moment you achieve them.


Cover Image Credit: Huffington Post

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I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.
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Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.

Why?

Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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To Donald Trump: Thank U, Next

Look what you taught us.

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What Donald Trump taught me is that it is not essential for the president to care about his country. Con-artistry goes a long way when communicating with people who are tired of the same political jargon.

His simple-minded but outlandish promises convinced people significant change was coming. Donald Trump taught me that never again do I want a president to be thought of as "one of us."

Instead, I want someone smart, ethical and who has taken a basic civics course — someone who will take care of minorities and make those in dire situations a priority instead of stock market prices.

I want a president that doesn't brag about sexually assaulting women. I want a president that doesn't go on social media and blame homicide victims for not being armed. I want a president that doesn't complain about money when people are dying and losing their homes in a massive fire.

However, with that being said, I also want to give thanks to Trump. Because of him, the next generation sees how crucial it is to get out and vote. Most of your elders probably never spoke to an LGBTQ person, but you and your siblings grew up with LGBTQ friends, and you would never want them to be treated any lesser than you. You grew up with women dominating television. You grew up under the leadership of an African American president. You grew up in a world that was changing.

Some people don't like change, but you are the future, and it is your decision what you want that future to be. So thank you Donald Trump, for being the last big push Americans needed to completely change a world that was once dominated by violence and hate crimes. However, I think most of us can agree we are ready for what's coming next.

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