Everyone knows that Santa Claus is the symbol of pretty much every large retail store during the months of November and December. It seems that we've all just accepted his presence, but I've seriously got some questions for this jolly old man in a red suit:

1. Why enter through the chimney?

Why not something easier, like, I don't know, the front door?

2. Does it make you sad when some people don't believe in you?

3. Do the other reindeer get jealous of Rudolph?

4. How do you not have indigestion?

That's a lot of milk and cookies to eat in a really short amount of time.

5. What is Mrs. Claus's first name?

6. How do you keep track of all those names?

Can you teach me how to use Excel? You seem pretty good at it.

7. Why don't you get old?

You are perpetually old but you never get any older.

8. How fast does the sleigh move?

9. When is your birthday?

10. Do you have siblings?

11. Are your parents proud?

12. Do you travel by sleigh everywhere?

If you have to go to the grocery store, do you just strap up the reindeer?

13. Do you have a favorite Christmas movie/special/cartoon?

14. What do you pay your elves?

If it's a good pay, can I send in my resume?

15. The elves make the toys, but what do you even do all year?

16. Do you speak to all your mall Santas and their elves? Is there a conference or office hours or anything?

17. Who even gave you the power to be so powerful?

When do I get powers like that?

Happy Holidays!