What You Must Know About A Person Before You Date Them

What You Must Know About A Person Before You Date Them

You can't hurry love.
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We tend to rush into things, not that it's always a bad idea. But commitment can be a scary thing. When it comes to love you really need to nurture and develop it. I truly do believe in love at first sight, it’s magical but not everyone is lucky enough to experience it. Take time to get know someone. You have your whole life ahead of you! You should know exactly who you're committing to, especially if you’re considering spending the rest of your life with this person.

Being said, know the answers to the basic ones. The simple questions that you can probably learn in 5 minutes or by some skilled Facebook creeping.

THE BASIC ONES

What’s your favorite color?

Where are you from?

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Do you like being outdoors?

What are your hobbies?

Cats or dogs?

Do you know how to cook?

What's your favorite song?

Do you know how to swim?

Are you a night owl or morning person?

Know the answers to the important ones. These are the questions that aren’t always so easy. Some can be observed, some can change, but are important nonetheless.

THE IMPORTANT ONES

Who do you call when you're sad?

Are you a saver or spender?

Where do you want to settle down?

What annoys you?

Do you want children?

Where do you call home?

Are your parents still together?

Do you like to travel?

Are you a hard worker?

How do you like your coffee?

How do you like your alcohol?

Know the answers to the private ones. The questions that require someone opening up, that require trust. You may scratch the surface early on, but it takes time to truly know the answers.

THE PRIVATE ONES

What are you afraid of?

What do you do when you’re angry?

What are your religious beliefs?

Why do you think you were put on this Earth?

What are your dreams?

Falling in love is quick, but really getting to know someone takes a lot of time. If someone is the love of your life, you’ll probably be able to answer these questions better than they will. Stop rushing things. People have beautiful souls. Sure, you can fall in love with looks. But what goes on in their mind, what shapes them, and who they are is so much better.

Cover Image Credit: Tiera Meadows

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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'Captain Marvel' Shares An Important Message That Shouldn’t Be Underestimated

Captain Marvel is an important movie from the perspective of the young audience it addresses.

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(This article is without spoilers.)

From the time Captain Marvel was released, on March 8, there has been a lot of press surrounding the movie. There have been parties both advocating for and arguing against the character that Bree Larson brought to life. Controversies, particularly, were plenty; from media sources and generally, people critiquing Lardon for her lack of smiling during promotional events (to which Bree Larson had an amazing comeback) to the parallel derision and celebration of the idea of a feminist Marvel movie.

I personally watched Captain Marvel a couple of weeks after it was released and after having minimal preconceptions, including avoiding watching the trailer and scanning any reviews. I'd avoided spoilers and newspaper articles for the most part simply because I wanted to form my own opinion. I had done the same with Wonder Woman and Black Panther because of the extreme expectations placed on the cast, crew and whole conception, itself.

I'm not gonna lie. I took some issue with the progression and flow of the plot, and some of the character development was patchy. However, that's not what I primarily took from the experience of watching it.

When I exited after watching, the first thing I saw was an excited little boy jumping enthusiastically after walking out of the theater. Aggressive, playful bouncing with a fake blaster was interlaced with "Guys did you see that?", "And then she kicked him in the back!", and "That was so cool!" What I could reflect on was how little anything other than Captain Marvel could be a topic of conversation in my class of second-graders and how they would run to play as her on the playground. I could feel their shaking anticipation when both my boys and girls talked about which superheroes to be for Halloween and they could go back and forth debating being Wonder Woman or Captain Marvel. I recognized how disappointed one of my fifth-grade newspaper students was when he realized he couldn't write a review for the school paper because of the movie's PG-13.

Because when you're ten and see a hero on screen that speaks to you and who you identify as, you're not following the consistency of the character arc and how the narrative follows the 3-act structure. It's not that Rotten Tomatoes comprises a team of elementary schoolers who write professional reviews.

As far as I'm concerned, and as far as I believe most people should be concerned, if the next generation of filmmakers and movie-goers find themselves wanting to experience more movies that present positive messages and instill self-confidence then we've done our job as the generations that will give them that. Our role is to identify and understand the value of these movies and characters and pass them along. Look to the kids. They know what they're talking about.

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