With a motto like "Hope" it makes sense that The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations be short and sweet just like it. But alas, Rhode Island's residents are prone to getting asked countless questions because of it being the smallest state in the country. Whether the questions themselves make sense is entirely irrelevant because I can assure you they are asked anyways. I am almost positive most people outside of New England don't even know Rhode Island exists, but for those who do, here are some of the questions you might be asking.
1. How long does it take to drive through Rhode Island?
Contrary to popular belief, in the time it takes you to blink you will NOT be out of Rhode Island. Unless of course you blink for a really long time (I don’t judge) but, if that’s the case you’re probably just sleeping. So really it’s roughly one hour depending on traffic and how eager you are to get out.
2. Why do you have an accent?
You know what, I don't know. It's essentially a lazy Boston accent and I don't know why, but for some reason we love taking the letter "r" off the end of most words and putting them onto others (i.e. "coolah" instead of cooler and "idear" instead of idea). The moral of the story is we put r's where they don't belong and apparently love doing it. My friends have given me tons of flack for saying "soar" when I mean "saw", but it's too much effort to try and say it correctly all the time, not that I'd want to anyway.
3. Don’t people from Rhode Island think 20 minutes is a long drive?
As much as it pains me to say it (no it doesn't), yes. Everything is so close together that our perception of travel time is warped to the point of no return. Going anywhere that takes less than 10 minutes is a quick run. About 20 minute drives means you’re out of the house for at least a few hours because you definitely made the most of going out so far. If it takes 20-30 minutes it is accompanied by getting lunch or dinner somewhere, and anything over 30 minutes is a day trip.
4. Isn't Rhode Island part of New York?
No. Go take a geography class.
5. Is everything really that close together?
Usually as a follow up to number 2, the answer is yes, everything really is that close. A quick ride into the town over is where I usually go to the movie theater since my city doesn’t actually have [a good] one. Also, there is a city (that, for some reason have the gall to call a city) named Central Falls that is just about 1 square mile. Yup, a city that you could actually pass through in the blink of an eye, trust me I’ve done it. No one is really too sure why it is still its own city, but Viola Davis is from there so I think it has to now.
6. Is Del’s really as big in Rhode Island as it seems?
With the amount of times I’ve gotten looks of betrayal from those I tell that I don't like Del’s, I can confirm that it is as big of a deal as you think it is. Del’s lemonade is revered as a state treasure and in such high demand, you can buy the lemonade mix in supermarkets to curb your out-of-season cravings.
7. Do you go to Newport often, isn’t it gorgeous?
Well, it is lovely, but can also be very touristy and just overall crowded, so no, I don’t go down to Newport often. That’s what we call a day trip, and traveling there is most often a planned thing that takes up the whole day. If you feel like splurging you can spend your money going to a Newport beach, but other than that, your options are walking the Cliff Walk and admiring all of the mansions you are envious of, or visiting the Tennis Hall of Fame. I could be jaded from having the knowledge of always being able to go if I had wanted to lose an entire day, but I have only done so a handful of times, and those times have resulted in me deciding I’d much rather go up the street to see a movie.
8. Have you ever seen Taylor Swift?
She's all the way on the tail end of the state (when she's there) and it's just too far a drive to just drive by. I guess you could stake out the street and wait for her to drive by, but other than that it's pretty pointless because she's never there.
9. Why is it called the "Ocean State"?
Well, with 400 miles of coastline, it's hard to not find the ocean at some point when traveling through. It's interesting to note that you are always at least 45 minutes from a beach no matter where you are in the state. And yes, going to the beach is a day trip.
10. What the heck is that bug thing on the highway?
A landmark. That's what it is. For Rhode Islanders, the Big Blue Bug is a staple of the state, and a welcome site to those traveling I-95 through Providence. Originally New England Pest Control, the extermination company changed their name to Big Blue Bug Solutions in 2012 due to the overwhelming popularity of their prominent mascot. Located on top of a building that is nestled up to the side of the highway, the 9 foot tall and 58 foot long bug greets passerby's with antlers and red nose around the holidays, and sunglasses and a Del's lemonade in the summer. Some special occasions are awarded with rare changes in attire, like the tie he "wore" around the time of the name change. Given the name "Nibbles Woodaway" from a contest in 1990, this beloved icon is one that Rhode Islanders are proud of and love seeing as they drive by.
11. Why is Rhode Island even a state?
Just don't ask that, like, ever. You will not want to hear the answer after getting this reaction:
