Huffing, puffing, and out-of-breath, I attempted to make the climb up the hill to the bus station at 10,000 feet elevation. I am all about exposing myself to different cultures but I had no idea that this culture was practically sitting in space. I was on the outskirts of Quito, the capital city of Ecuador. Quito is around 10,000 feet elevation – the highest capital city in the world. My hometown is 320 feet elevation so this was quite an adjustment. Uneven sidewalks didn’t make my climb any easier. I briefly wondered if they even had wheelchairs in Ecuador for their citizens because that these roads and sidewalks were definitely not ADA compliant.

I had already been living in Ecuador for three weeks volunteering at an orphanage. The summer before my senior year I spent a month in Ecuador volunteering at the orphanage, along with my mother. The two of us are more like sisters than mother-daughter and we always manage to cause trouble, even when we try to play by the rules. I think we are the Murphy’s Law of humans. But on this specific day we were traveling back to civilization with the hope of eating some real food. Living off of burnt white rice for the past three weeks was beginning to take its toll on us. On the bright side, it is a great way to lose weight!

While working at the orphanage, my mom and I met a woman named Amanda who was helping teach at the orphanage. Amanda was from Alabama and was the only other person who spoke English at the orphanage. It was cute listening to her Southern drawl speak Spanish as her blond curls bounced on every other syllable. On one particular Sunday at the orphanage, Amanda, my mom and I decided to take a bus to the shopping mall. We had been living in very primitive conditions and were thrilled at the prospect of modern conveniences (and food).

We set out bright and early in the morning, not knowing exactly what to expect. Amanda had already made the trip to the mall several times, but my mom and I were clueless as to where we were going. The three of us hiked up a steep hill (at 10,000 feet above sea level) to the bus stop. For us, that was the adventure of the day. If only we knew what was in store…

I soon learned that the busses in Ecuador are not clearly marked with their destination. Amanda thankfully knew what bus we were supposed to get on and we boarded without any incidence. Well, sort of. When approaching its stop, the busses would slow down and stop for roughly .76 seconds. If you weren’t practically hanging on the bus by the time it reached a full and complete stop, you weren’t getting on the bus. All three of us somehow got on and found seats. A woman getting on behind us wasn’t so lucky. The bus had already started moving again and she only had one foot in the bus and the door was wide open. I’m not sure how she wasn’t injured or how she didn’t fall off but this clearly wasn’t her time riding the death bus.

It turns out that the busses were identifiable by their curtains. Yes, you read that right. The busses had curtains covering the windows, something you would expect on a high-class luxury bus traveling cross-country. That may have been the origin of these busses, but we were experiencing these curtains long past their heyday. These weren’t any old curtains though; these were complete with decaying velvet and fraying fringe. We were getting groovy. There was also an aspiring singer on the bus who was loudly blaring his music over his state-of-the-art 1980s boom box. He decided to sing directly to my mom and somehow got the entire bus to laugh at her and mock her. Granted she did stand out as a very white woman in a bus full of Ecuadorians but making fun of someone didn’t seem like a good way to self-promote. But that’s just me. My mom didn’t mind, and she laughed at herself too. The singing and music continued on this unconventional party bus until we reached the mall.

I was so thankful to finally reach the mall. Ecuadorian drivers are very… talented. They don’t believe in blinkers, turn lanes, or even regular lanes of traffic. It makes for very interesting driving experiences that has all passengers thankful to be alive.

We had not eaten a full and nutritious meal in over two weeks so the three of us went immediately to a T.G.I. Friday’s. I realize that we were not experiencing true Ecuadorian culture and food. I didn’t care I was so hungry. The mall even had a movie theater that was showing movies in English. The three of us settled on watching the Fast and Furious 6 and spent the afternoon driving next to Vin Diesel. After exploring the mall and shopping, we eventually decided to return to the orphanage. It was dark by this time and I knew we had a long journey back. The three of us piled on a bus that we hoped was the correct one and off we went!

This time, the bus was noticeably more crowded than before. Earlier, we had been able to find a few seats. Now, we could barely squeeze on to the bus enough to let the doors close. We were all packed in there like sardines.

A quick bit of background information. I am only 5’2” and considered short in America. In Ecuador, the average height for both men and women is much shorter. To put it in perspective, I felt like a giant, which was a brand-new feeling for me. In this crowded bus, I was able to see over nearly everybody. This provided me with front-row seats to what was about to become one of the most entertaining shows I’d ever seen.

The entertainment first began when one woman tried to board the already overcrowded bus with her large box of pizza. She was very petite but she managed to balance it horizontally on her head to avoid crushing it. I was impressed until I watched her poke roughly seven people with the corners of the pizza box, completely oblivious to her actions. In the next instant, the bus driver hit a pothole and the woman lost her grip on the pizza box. It started to fall but she miraculously caught it… in the vertical position. We were all so squished in there that she didn’t even have enough room to bring the pizza to a horizontal position again. I don’t know if we were just sleep-deprived, but Amanda, my mom and I found the vertical pizza debacle absolutely hilarious.

Amanda had informed us that our bus stop was Puente Siete. I didn’t quite understand how the bus system worked but so far we had stopped at Puente Cuatro, Puente Cinco, Puente Seis, so our next logical stop was Puente Siete. We could see the huge sign up ahead in the road that said Puente Siete but the bus was not slowing down. What was the logical thing to do? My mom starts yelling at the top of her lungs, “PUENTE SIETE! PUENTE SIETE!” with a completely American accent.

The bus didn’t stop.

We continued to travel along like trapped animals until the bus finally came to a stop at Puente Ocho. None of us knew where we were and it was a long distance back to Puente Siete and there was no pedestrian access. Great. It was almost 11 at night and we were lost in a foreign country! My grandmother would have died if she knew the situation we were in.

Bus passengers pay their fee as they exit the bus to prevent free rides. As we emerged from the carnage that was the inside of the bus, my mom paid more than our fee, clearly expecting change. The girl that was collecting our fares just stared back blankly, shocked that we hadn’t given her exact change. She reluctantly plunked down some money in my mom’s hand and turned to assist another survivor of the bus ride. At this point I would have been happy to make a run for it and never endure another bus. My mom decided it would be a good idea to count the money she had been given. As it turns out, the girl had shorted my mom two cents change. Of course, my mom has never been one to go with the flow, so she demanded the girl give her the extra change. So the two of them began to argue.

I couldn’t help but remember how the busses earlier that day didn’t stop for more than a few seconds at each stop. We had been out here for over 10 seconds and there was no way this could end well. Apparently my mom remembered that too, so she stood in front of the bus to prevent it from going anywhere. Yes mom, that really is the safest thing to do. The girl finally gave my mom her money back so my mom made sure to count it in the headlights to avoid being scammed again. I don’t know how, but we made it out alive and were (somewhat) ready to tackle our next obstacle: finding the orphanage.

The three of us began our trek in the direction we hoped the orphanage was. We traveled across a field and came across a woman with five children following her. They were asking us for directions and how to get to the bus stop. It seemed very shady and suspicious because you could clearly see the bus stop from where we were. That alerted us that these people weren’t lost – they wanted to rob us. At one point I had four of the children circling me like wolves ready to make a kill. I couldn’t believe I was being intimidated by seven-year olds!

My mom started speaking Spanish to the woman and the woman’s demeanor changed instantly – they all retreated like someone had just called them off. Before we knew what happened, they all disappeared into the shadows. It was freaky. To top it all off, we still had no idea if we were even going in the right direction. Nevertheless, we continued down the road until we reached a fork. To the right was a dark alleyway that was not lit at all. To our left was a dark alleyway that had one single light. We decided to follow the light to our left.

I think we must have wandered for at least 20 minutes until miraculously we saw the huge gate that belonged to the orphanage. We reached it, out of breath and ready to climb into bed. There was just one problem. The gate was locked and we didn’t have a key. My heart sank and I just knew that I was going to spend a night outside in an alley. I envisioned us making it all the way back from Timbuktu unscathed to only be murdered right outside our gate.

As we stood outside the gate trying to figure out what to do, we saw a bus drive up. We had forgotten that some of the children had taken a field trip and they were just now returning. The leader opened the gate for us and we almost cried out of happiness (I’m pretty sure I shed several tears). Our adrenaline levels had worn off and we were exhausted and starving! I headed to the kitchen and got some food, but after what I witnessed on the bus, I chose to pass on the pizza!