Everywhere I went, things seemed to change around me. My friends, my relationship, and I even found myself changing. They say change is good, or that change is for the better but this process of change was difficult. Everything in my life no longer made any sense. I've always been the person to see the brighter side of things. But I realized that I didn't have the answers to anything anymore. I couldn't even answer the thoughts in my own head. I just wanted to have the right to be mad, and I wanted to blame everyone else for making me mad. But I couldn't; I could only blame myself. I wanted so badly to act out of character just for once. I wanted to express how I felt in the most barbaric way possible.
Suddenly, in the midst of all of my confusion and rage, I found peace. Peace engulfed me like a mid October breeze. I no longer saw red, but I saw my future. I saw myself living for me, and not for the obligations of others. I saw myself engaging in new opportunities. I saw myself not only being happy, but also experiencing an abundance of joy. All of these things I lost sight of along the way, but I knew with God, I could have all of those desires.
So, who am I? One week I'm filled with gratitude and the next I am ready to hurt somebody's feelings. I can't even tell you who I am. I cannot be labeled or categorized. I cannot fit this perfect description because I'm full of imperfections. I am a young woman who is learning and growing each day. No matter how angry I want to be, I know in the end that everything will be alright. I know God's reasoning far exceeds mine.
Whatever you may be going through, know that there is hope. Grasp hold of it as tight as you can. It is never the end of the world. Don't let a rash decision affect you for the rest of your life, and don't let your emotions speak for you. I know you may want to simmer in your anger, but don't let people have that much power over you. Better yet, don't let situations have that much power over you because there is someone who is bigger than it all.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
