"I'm actually really glad my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship right now. I'm not sure if we would still be together if we lived in the same city."
When I say that, whether it's to adults or fellow college students, the person always looks totally shocked. Their jaw drops, and I can basically see their thoughts racing. They jump to conclusions and assume that we have a bad relationship, don't really love each other, or are cheating while away at school. But honestly, none of those things are happening. I love my boyfriend immensely, and I miss him every single day we're apart. While I know that's true, it doesn't mean that I don't also know that being in a long distance relationship is actually a really good thing for us right now.
Think about it; what is one of the main reasons that relationships end when you're young? Because you want to learn what it's like to be without that person and grow as an individual. I'm sorry, but that sounds exactly like a long distance relationship to me. My boyfriend and I both have the "freedom" to explore what it is like to be without each other while still remaining together. I know myself, and I know that if I was at the same school as him, I would have relied on him a lot more and wouldn't have taken the chances that I did today. Rather than asking the nice girl from class to get lunch, I would have just gotten it with him.
Rather than spending a day studying alone in the library, I probably would have invited him to come along. Of course, there's nothing wrong with these things, but because my long distance relationship took my sweet, strong, comfortable security blanket away from me, I was forced to face the world on my own and experience what it felt like to be single, without ever actually becoming single.
Now, when I explain this to people they usually follow by asking, "if you can live so well without him, what makes you think you guys would ever work long term?" To that I explain, just because I'm in a long distance relationship doesn't mean I'd choose it if I had the choice. I still cry every time we say goodbye, and just because I see the benefits of it, doesn't mean that I wish I had the luxury of grabbing lunch between classes with my boyfriend or seeing him every day. Our long distance relationship simply eliminates the question of who I am without him because that's my reality almost every day. I do know though that, without him next to me, I am taking more chances and learning more about myself at this crucial time of my life. With each new experience, a new friend made, new self-revelation, I know that he's only a phone call away with all the emotional support possible to help me learn about myself while we're together but apart.
