Star Wars: The Force Awakens is almost here. Of course, I have tickets to the midnight premier. Yes, it is during my finals week, and yes, instead of studying for finals I am re-watching all six Star Wars Movies. I regret nothing.
By far my favorite Star Wars is Return of the Jedi. Only mostly because of the Ewoks. You could say I'm an Ewok fan-girl. It may have been mentioned that, in addition to Leslie Knope, Ewoks are my spirit animal. They are adorable and bad a**, like myself.
There is, in the Star Wars community, very strong anti-Ewok sentiments. I'm here to defend these adorable saviors of the galaxy from those individuals.
Exhibit One: They are bundles of cuteness.
In a battle of good versus evil, the dark versus light, the jedi versus the sith, the ewoks symbolize the glimmer of lightheartedness in the world. They are three feet tall, fuzzy, sweet, bundles of bad-a**ery.
Exhibit Two: Ewoks are bad a**.
Under their adorable exteriors, the Ewok species is hard core. Before C3PO became God, the Ewoks were fully prepared to cook and eat Leia and Han. Clearly, they aren't afraid to f*ck people up if they have to. The hard core nature of the Ewoks is cleverly disguised by their adorable teddy bear faces.
Exhibit Three: They have sick dance moves
Do you see any other creature in Star Wars move like the Ewoks? I think not. Everyone in the galaxy knows the saying, "Party like an Ewok."
Exhibit Four: Ewoks hit the gym on the reg.
The speeder is moving pretty fast. You don't get that kind of grip with out pull-ups, curls, and a heavy protein diet.
Exhibit Five: They are tactical geniuses.
Their short stature is made up for with their technical and tactical proficiency. The Ewoks set up traps and released them at the perfect time to destroy the battle droids. That takes a lot of math and engineering.
Exhibit Six: THEY SAVE THE GALAXY!
Without the help of the Ewoks in the Battle of Endor, Han could not have gained entrance to the bunker, and he could not have destroyed the shield generator. If the shield generator was not destroyed, Luke could not have been able to destroy the Death Star.
I hope I have changed some of your minds and encouraged you to fight for the reputation of the beloved saviors of the galaxy.
Yub. Nub.
