I am no stranger to asking God to guide my way through my daily anxieties.
I’d do it in order to get through the Psychology presentation. Mistakenly, I allowed my mood stay out-of-sorts. I started today out deprived of rest and confidence. I came to campus to go to class in such a zombie form.
Absolutely no shut-eye happened for me last night. From last night to dawn this morning, I was just... up. Midnight seemed to turn into 7 a.m. in a matter of a minute. That was mostly because I was dreading my impending class presentation.
I’d get up in front of the class and tell everyone some things about my Social Anxiety Disorder presentation topic, and it’d come out my mouth - from that immediately shaky voice and the timid demeanor of someone that knew social phobia all too well. I was groggy and - I’m exaggerating - but could hardly remember my name, much less the ways in which I’d wow my professor and classmates with confident, focused speech. I remember times in which I was great at public speaking … I hate to say that those times were merely in my imagination.
My morning train ride came to an end, and I stepped off everso somberly onto the platform.
Then, all of a sudden, on a steel beam, written on what looked like marker was a random “Smile Boo Boo” with a quick little smiley-face drawn below it.
I had no idea who scribbled that on the beam, or when, but it seems as though it was written in a perfect place.
When you step off of the train, walk the train station platform to get to the entrance of one of the campus buildings, you’ll see it because it happens to be facing you head on. If the marker on the beam is visible enough in the natural light of this suddenly beautiful Wednesday, how could you miss it?
Sure enough, it made me smile a little.
It was simple, but it stood out to me as something pleasing - working against my self-perpetuated doubt over how today was going to go. I’m not saying the graffiti dictated my day. I’m just saying that it kind of injected something small, but significant enough to cause a slight chain reaction.
It was a positive reaction on a positive chain - and I appreciate that.
