Suddenly

What a crazy time, my friends. I feel like so much is happening at the same time, and this is my best shot at putting it into words. I hope that everyone is staying safe and healthy. I know that it can be hard to be isolated, especially when it seems like we're completely surrounded by bad news. Remember that we're all in this together :)

Suddenly

I feel like I'm thirteen

Upset in my room

Because Mom is mad at me again

I feel like no one understands

But aren't I supposed to be an adult?

The world is on pause

And this is everything we wanted

For the hustle to stop for a little

So we could nap

Wouldn't that be nice?

But not like this

There's literally a side panel on the news that says

Deaths

An upward count

But through all this

I keep thinking about

The way my heart was racing

When I finally graced your hand

With every stroke of your thumb, it beat louder

Oh, so you want this too?

I walk you out

For an awkward and forbidden kiss

That's been replaying in my mind

But that

Just like everything else

Is suddenly

Completely

Over

And I can't stop thinking

It's like we've got a competition going

How much shame can I take?

How long until I break?

Can't I just give it up already?

I love the burning in my chest

When I almost say it

As close as I can get to the truth

Without the commitment

Send me back

Just let me wake up for class

Let me think about skipping it

Let me drag myself to work and the gym

Let me sit in New York by myself

Anxious

Out of my mind