Pocketless Pants: A Closet Conspiracy

Pocketless Pants: A Closet Conspiracy

Fed up with fake pockets? These theories will have you in stitches.
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I’m generally a calm person, but nothing gets my blood boiling like when I try to put my hand in my pocket only to find that it’s sewn shut. I’m surprised every time, not for a lack of consistency but for the sheer stupidity of it all. Someone has actually taken the time to design the pockets, place them on the pants, and then to sew them shut—and for what? This question has baffled me for years, and in a recent attempt to find answers I’ve developed a few theories.

1. To make us buy purses

If we don’t have pockets to put our phones, wallets, and keys in, then we have no choice but to pour our savings into decorative sacks. It’s all a ploy for stores to make more money—and to reinforce “feminine” conventions, because what honest woman doesn’t carry around a cute little purse? (Answer: me, ever since my unicorn purse was stolen during Sunday School in the second grade. But I digress.)

Luckily, there’s another option for those of us who can’t keep track of a purse. If you’ve been keeping up with recent trends, you may have noticed that the fanny pack is making a comeback. What a novel idea: a space for your items that doesn’t require you to hold on to anything. Hmm, what does that sound like? That's right—the perfect accessory for those pocket-less pants. And it’ll only set you back about $20. Nice!

2. To make us dependent on men

Ever wonder why men have so many pockets? They have back pockets, front pockets, thigh pockets—and if that’s not enough, they’ve got shirt pockets, too. The most I’ve ever seen a guy carry on his person consisted of a wallet and keys. Something’s not adding up here.

Maybe all that extra space isn’t actually for his things, but for yours. If he’s got your phone and money in his pocket, you aren’t going anywhere. He has you, and your possessions, safely within reach. Everyone wins—just hope the date doesn’t go too poorly.

3. To make us look slimmer

Don’t women have enough junk in the trunk already? No room for any extra. Can’t have that phone or wallet messing with your figure (or obstructing the view, because that’s the only reason women wear tight pants, right?)

4. That’s all I’ve got

Because there is literally no plausible explanation for such an idiotic design choice. We’ve had so many revolutions in women’s clothing: we are no longer subject to swooning from corsets that are too tight, we don’t have to keep our ankles covered for fear of the scandal, and we can wear pants if we so choose. We have not come so far only to tolerate pockets that only look the part.

Ladies, I’m proposing a strike against false pockets: let’s check before we buy.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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9 Eligible Princes You Need To Know About Now That Prince Harry Is Off The Market

You too could have a Meghan Markle fairytale
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Prince Harry's royal wedding is officially over and there won't be another British royal wedding for quite some time now, as Prince George is way too young to start thinking about that. Fortunately, there are plenty of other countries with plenty of other princes that are still eligible bachelors at the moment. Lucky for you, I did my research and compiled a list of all the eligible princes you need to know about know that Prince Harry has tied the knot with Meghan Markle.

1. Prince Louis of Luxembourg (31)

Prince Louis is the third son of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg. He has recently become a bachelor again after his separation with his wife of 10 years, Princess Tessy.

Fun Fact: He graduated from Richmond, The American International University of London with a BA in Communications. He can also speak Luxembourgish (the fact that's even a language is fun fact by itself), French, German, and English fluently.

2. Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg (26)

Prince Sebastien is the youngest child of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg, so if you marry him, you'll probably never actually be queen because he's pretty far removed from the throne. However, he's relatively young and single, so best of luck.

Fun Fact: For some bizarre reason, this prince actually went to college in Ohio. He played rugby and graduated from Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2015. Now, he is back in his home country and is an officer in the Luxembourg Army.

3. Prince Phillipos of Greece and Denmark (34)

You read that correctly, Prince Phillipos is the prince of not one, but two countries. He is the youngest son of King Constantine and Queen Anne Marie of Greece and Denmark. Unfortunately, Greece abolished their monarchy, so he's a prince in name only there.

Fun Fact: Like Prince Sebastien, Prince Phillipos also went to college in the United States. He earned his B.A. in foreign relations from Georgetown University in 2008. Fortunately, for us American girls, he is actually still living in the US and he works in New York City as an analyst at Ortelius Capital.

4. Prince Albert of Thurn and Taxis (34)

Ever heard of Thurn and Taxis? No? Me neither. Anyways, Prince Albert is from the House of Thurn and Taxis, which is essentially a very old German aristocratic family. He is the son of Prince Johannes XI of Thurn and Taxis and Countess Gloria of Schonburg Glauchau. His family is well known for their breweries and castles, so unless you're gluten-free, you can't really complain.

Fun Fact: He's not just a prince. He's also a racecar driver and 10 years ago he was ranked 11th on Forbes Magazine's List of The 20 Hottest Young Royals.

5. Prince Mateen of Brunei (26)

Prince Mateen is basically like all the guys you already know, except he's royalty. He's the prince of Brunei, which is a small country on the island of Borneo, south of Vietnam. He is one of the five sons of Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, and he also has seven sisters. Maybe that's a little different than the guys you know, but one thing he takes very seriously, just like most frat guys, is his Instagram.

Fun Fact: Mateen enjoys playing polo, flying in his private plane, cuddling cute wild animals, and keeping up his Insta game with 890k followers. You can follow him @tmski.

6. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai (35)

Sheikh Hamdan also has a killer Instagram with 6.3 million followers. Anyways, Sheikh Hamdan is the billionaire crown prince of Dubai and the second son of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, who is the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates and essentially the king of Dubai (Emir). He's actually next in line for the throne because his older brother died in 2015.

Fun Fact: Hamdan's hobbies include skydiving, zip lining, and diving, just to name a few, so if you're an adrenaline junkie, Sheikh Hamdan is the prince for you.

7. Prince Hussein of Jordan (23)

Prince Hussain is the son of the extremely beautiful, Queen Rania and Abdullah II of Jordan and next in line for the Jordanian throne. At 23, he's already a second lieutenant in the Jordanian Armed Forces and he was the youngest person ever to chair a UN Security Council Meeting


Fun Fact: Like Prince Phillippos, Prince Hussain also graduated from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.. Also, like Prince Mateen and Prince Hamdan, he's Insta famous with 1.3 million followers and you can follow him @alhusseinjo.

8. Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece and Denmark (19)

Like Prince Phillipos, Prince Constantine-Alexios also has two countries. Lucky for us though, he is also living in the US right now attending Georgetown University in Washington D.C. (like pretty much every other prince, amirite?) He is the oldest son of Crown Princess Marie-Chantal and Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece.

Fun Fact: He's Prince William's godson, so that's pretty neat. However, if that wasn't cool enough, you might like to know that this Greek/Danish prince was actually born in New York. Oh yeah, you can also follow him on Instagram @alexiosgreece where he has 88.7k followers.

9. Prince Joachim of Belgium (26)

Prince Joachim of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este is the third child of Lorenz, Archduke of Austria-Este and Princess Astrid of Belgium. Although he bears the title, "Prince of Belgium," he is also Archduke of Austria-Este, Prince Royal of Hungary and Bohemia, and Prince of Modena. Unfortunately, he'll probably never actually be king in any of these countries as he is ninth in line to the Belgian throne.

Fun Fact: Prince Joachim has degrees in economics, management, and finance, but he decided to join the Nautical School in Brugge after completing college and is currently an officer in the Belgian Navy.

Hope is not lost for all you girls dreaming of finding a Prince Charming that's literally a prince. After reviewing the data, my best advice is to transfer to Georgetown where princes are basically around every corner.

Cover Image Credit: @meghantheduchessofsussexstyle/Instagram

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movie Review: 'The Prestige'

A perplexing puzzle that keeps you on your toes until the very last second.

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After watching The Prestige, I have to say I am truly in awe and shock. With endless plot twists that lasted till the very last minute of the movie to minute-to-minute deception, this movie kept you on your toes from beginning to end. This is by no means a movie that you can sit down and watch while doing other things. It requires an immense amount of concentration because something new happens every five seconds. I am being completely honest when I say that my friend and I had to pause the movie at least five times just to make sure we were understanding everything. The Prestige is a rollercoaster of a movie, and one that I highly recommend. Even if thrillers aren't your typical genre that you like watching, make an exception for this one. Personally, my taste in movies vary but I would definitely not gravitate towards thrillers on a daily basis, but I am so glad I watched this one because it left me thinking about it for days afterwards.

Christopher Nolan, the director, is a master of cinematic deception and misdirection. Originally based on the novel The Prestige by Christopher Priest, the movie is a significant adaptation with completely different scenes and even a changed ending. While it is easy to hide certain facts in a book, it is much more difficult to carry that level of deception out in a movie while still providing all the scenes necessary for the audience to follow along. Nolan accomplishes this beautifully and keeps the audience second-guessing the ending every five seconds.

Set in London in the late 1800s, The Prestige is a scientific fiction and thriller about two magicians, Alfred Borden and Robert Angier, who worked together until unfortunately one of their tricks goes awry and ends up killing Angier's wife. This starts a feud between Angier and Borden, that causes them to become obsessed with outperforming the other, no matter who or what is sacrificed along the way. It has countless red herrings and the illusion that Nolan is able to portray is absolutely fascinating.

The summer is a perfect time to relax and watch a new movie, and I highly recommend The Prestige as your next movie. The plot is carried out spectacularly and keeps you engaged until the very last second. A movie I'd definitely watch again and again, probably finding more clues each time I watch it!

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https://www.amazon.com/Prestige-Hugh-Jackman/dp/B0094M2FS0

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