Promise rings have made some sort of comeback within the last decade or so. By definition, a promise ring is a ring worn to express some sort of commitment. It's meant to show a deeper level of commitment and devotion between two people, and for some, can act as a prequel to an engagement ring. In my honest opinion, I think the promise ring is, well, a waste of time.
To all the girls or guys who just gasped with disgust and looked down at the promise ring on their hand, I'm sorry. Really, this is not a personal attack on you, I promise. And for those of you who do wear a promise ring, I genuinely hope things continue to go well for you. But just hear me out on my somewhat unpopular perspective here.
If the person I was dating were to walk up to me all suave-like and offer me a promise ring, I would say no. And here's my reasons why.
1. They carry some blurry lines.
"So wait, is this supposed to like be an engagement ring to our engagement ring? No? So it's about commitment, but how does it make us more committed than we already are? I mean, we are already exclusively dating. Well, okay, so it's significant. But how is it more important than those pearl earrings you got me last month? I'm confused."
Promise rings mean something different to each couple. Some are a symbol of love, others indicate an engagement ring is to follow in the coming years. Unlike an engagement ring, promise rings can mean a variety of things, and this can create some confusion among friends and family as to what it really means for y'all as a couple.
2. The money
I'll just be brief here. If you were going to get me a ring at some point, I'd rather you just keep that money and save up for a future engagement ring. At least it would be more worthwhile and mean more to me.
3. It lacks the meaning it seeks.
Let's be real here: promise rings don't really hold a lot of weight. And they really can't because nobody ever knows exactly what it means to each couple. Plus, it's not exactly highly valued in our society. Seriously, go to your Facebook page, and try to add a Life Event that says, "Got a Promise Ring." It's not there. Engagement and marriage sure is, but promise ring isn't.
That's because it has the stigma of being like an engagement ring but with no strings attached. So while young couples want that sacred nature that an engagement ring normally carries, promise rings often end up being seen as more of a fashion piece.
4. My relationship shouldn't need one.
Frankly, if I'm in a serious relationship, we shouldn't need a promise ring. There shouldn't even be a box for it that needs checking off at some point in our relationship. In my opinion, a meaningful relationship (that is not yet ready for marriage) shouldn't require material validation.
We are already committed to each other; we promise to be faithful ever day through our actions. I don't need a shiny thing to wear that tells the world I'm dating you. We know we're together, we know how serious we are, and when the time comes, we will decide whether marriage is the direction we want to go towards or not.
So while I will admit, promise rings look cute in pictures, but they're just not my cup of tea. I give you a sincere congratulations to those who wear them and live by the promise they hold. But I for one would rather wait for the real deal, the one ring to rule them all.
