Pizza: The Ultimate Test
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Pizza: The Ultimate Test

How do you know if you're in love? If they steal a pizza your heart!

Pizza: The Ultimate Test

Pizza. Who doesn't love a thick slice of hot, gooey pizza? I'll tell ya: weirdoughs. Get it? Okay, that may have been a little cheesy. Sorry, I'll stop with the pizza puns. For now. However, this article isn't just about pizza; it's about who has the best pizza (according to my personal opinion, of course). I have had this debate with my family and friends on multiple occasions, so I am going to rate various well known, local pizza places based on cheesiness, sauciness, crust, and just overall taste.

1. Pizza Hut

Even though I love pizza, Pizza Hut, in my opinion, is disgusting. I cannot comprehend how people like it. It reeks like nasty, sweaty feet that haven't been washed in 80 days. The cheese is not gooey at all and is so greasy it looks like it should resemble a person who hasn't washed their hair in 80 days to go along with their rancid feet smell. Their sauce tastes highly of artificial tomato. The crust is the best part, but even that isn't saying much. It is soft and chewy, but lacks any flavor if you get the regular crust. Overall rating: If Pizza Hut was a person, it would be a hobo. 0/10

2. Little Caesar's

Okay, for five dollars for a large cheese or pepperoni, you can't expect chef quality pizza. However, for its price, it is surprisingly not too bad. This is the place that seemingly every event planner runs to when they have to feed large amounts of people due to its price and speed, as well as its mediocre-good taste that most people wouldn't mind eating. I have gotten some pizzas where the cheese was super melted and delicious, and others that were sub par. It just depends on how fresh you catch them at. The sauce is a bit weird, the tomato is more of a paste feel to me, but it isn't horrible (I'm looking at you, Pizza Hut). The crust is nice and thick, but flavorless. Its cheap price makes it good. Overall Rating:6/10

3. Papa John's

Papa John's is like the original pizza for me. When I was younger, my dad would order this kind of pizza whenever we had it. It is pretty good, the cheese was never too gooey like others, which is kind of a bummer, but its sauce is good. The crust is thick and chewy as well, but relatively flavorless. This is an average pizza. It's better when you dip it into their garlic butter sauce. Overall rating: 6/10

4. Hungry Howie's

Mmm. I love me some Hungry Howie's. Their cheesy garlic bread is simply divine! Their pizza is a bit on the greasier side, but come on, it's pizza -- go big or go home. Their cheese has the right amount of gooey-ness and their sauce tastes like actual tomato. I personally am a big fan of Hungry Howie's. Overall Rating: 8/10

5. Barro's Pizza

BARRO'S. THIS IS THE BEST LOCAL (meaning in Glendale, Arizona) PIZZA I HAVE EVER TASTED. I refer this to anyone who lives in my hometown. Unfortunately, it is a small family-owned franchise, so it is not available in many places. I truly feel deep sadness for anyone who has never tasted this little slice of heaven. The cheese is melted into that perfect form where it stretches when slices are being pulled from one another. The sauce is real tomato and is added to the perfect amount. It is the greatest pizza, and yes, I have been to Chicago, yes, I have tried pizza there, and yes, I am still sticking with my original answer that Barro's is the GREATEST OF ALL TIME. Not to mention, their ranch is so good I could drink it. Too far? Overall rating: 1298935093990340909904/10

Did I make you hungry? Honestly, pizza is pizza, and it's good in all forms, shapes, and sizes. To whoever invented pizza: I salute you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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