As a plus-sized woman, I feel like I go through a very specific struggle.
That struggle is dealing with my body in a public sphere. My struggle is tackling the disadvantages I face every single day, even doing the simplest of tasks. For example, putting on clothes in the morning and them not fitting my body in the way I want them to can turn into an emotional ordeal. Walking to class at a slower pace than people around me, sitting at a desk where I take up more space than the people next to me can be emotionally trying.
With all that being said, it can be very hard to overcome insecurities while being plus sized. It is hard to exist in a body that is not socially acceptable or to exist in a body that isn’t exactly how you envisioned yourself.
For the people who have overcome these insecurities, it’s a hard world out there. skinny privilege exists and it is alive and well. From buying clothing, eating food and just walking down the street, it seems like thin people get the better end of the deal while plus-sized people, especially plus-sized women, get backhanded compliments and overall distaste from other people regarding their appearance.
Here are some phrases that I know, as a plus sized woman, I’m sick and tired of hearing
1. “You can’t wear that!”
Why can’t I? It’s my body, I can wear whatever I want. You can’t do anything about it. High waisted jeans here I come. I don’t have to hide my body to make you feel more comfortable around me. What matters is that I’m comfortable
2. “You’re with him? But he’s skinny….”
Just because I’m fat doesn’t mean I don’t like skinny/fit dudes. I’m allowed to have taste and a preference. Being fat and plus sized doesn’t mean I settle for less than I deserve, and if I want to be with a skinny dude, I’m gonna be with a skinny dude. There isn’t anything you can do to stop me
3. “You’re really pretty for a fat girl.”
Okay, what? I really hate when people say this to me. What is this even supposed to mean? I can be pretty as a fat girl, as a skinny girl, as an alien, as anything I want to be. Being fat does not equate to my beauty. When are we going to stop comparing weight to beauty? I can be pretty and fat. In fact, I am pretty, and I am fat.
4. “You dress well for your size.”
Again with backhanded compliments. It makes me think that everywhere I go, I have to dress super well because people don’t expect me to do so. I dress however I want to dress that day, whether I look like a bum or I look like the new face of FashionNova Curve, the only person I want to impress is myself.
5. “Are you really gonna eat all that?”
Yes. I am. End of story. Stop asking me that.
6. “Have you ever tried [insert fad diet here] to lose weight?”
For some reason, when you’re fat and fabulous, people think they can insert themselves into your eating habits and concern themselves with your health. No, I have not tried your skinny detox tea, and no I do not want to.
7. “Is dating hard? Do you tell people that you’re… you know… [fat?!].”
This last one really irks me, because it is a reality more than half of the time. Some people just aren't into chubby/thick/plus sized women, and that's okay. What's not okay is making fun of those women because you're not attracted to them, and making it seem like they're never going to find love ever again.