Something I've been giving a lot of thought to lately is the idea that someone who has previously made mistakes and been a negative person can learn from what they did wrong and change their ways.
We as a society would like to put people in boxes and leave them there forever. I mean if someone is so toxic they're ruining your life, why would you ever look back, right?
I am a huge advocate for not allowing negative people to affect your happiness, but what do we do if this person changes? Do we believe them? Do we assume they're being fake? Do we give them a second chance? How do we approach this situation?
Start by having an open mind. I know how this sounds and trust me, I struggle with it too, but some people truly are trying to change for the better and are willing to change their ways in order to do so.
I know this not only because I have recently done my fair share of distancing myself from people like this, but because I have been on the opposite side of the situation as well.
I pushed a close friend of mine away by not celebrating her achievements because I didn't know how to deal with her moving away. The thought of her no longer being a part of my life hurt so much that I pushed her away before she left in an attempt to make it easier when she was gone.
However, it did the complete opposite. I lost an amazing friend and although I apologized and spoke to her about what happened before she moved away, I felt guilty for quite some time.
Since then I made the decision that I would never make the same mistake again. I do my best to celebrate my loved one's achievements and support them when they need me.
I am not the same person I was five years ago. Especially when you're in your twenties, you are CONSTANTLY changing. Constantly altering religious, political and societal beliefs. Changing the way you approach situations, and react to them.
Since I'm not the same person, who's to say that they are?
Now I'm not telling you that everyone deserves a second chance because some people have worn their luck out, but if someone reaches out and is obviously trying to make amends or change the behavior that made you distance yourself in the first place isn't it worth hearing them out?
This has been on my mind recently because it's something I feel I need to change in myself. Giving people a second chance doesn't have to mean that you're weak, but that you're willing to open yourself up to this person and let them into your life again.
I'll be honest. There are some people that have hurt me to the point where I couldn't imagine letting them back in, but some others I can think of may add some happiness and true friendship to my life.
So I am open to new friendships with old friends.
