We’ve all heard it, the complaints about the laziness of Millennials, teenagers, general ‘kids’. As a student at a relatively privileged college I have witnessed a very distinctive line among my fellow students.
There are two groups of people: those who work themselves into the ground, and those that leech off of everyone around them and then complain about how ‘tired’ they are. The latter is the loudest and receive the most attention- and the most complaints.
In my experience, these people are the ones who have never worked a day in their life. They drive cars that cost more than I make in a year, party four days a week, and wear high end clothing. I have noticed that a vast majority of these students do not work and are 100% funded by Mom and Dad.
If you want to create self-sufficient adults, you need to foster independent children.
If you have the want and means to provide fully for your children, help them with rent. Pay part of their groceries. Textbooks are expensive. But you need to cut them off and limit their allowance.
“My parents love me and don’t want me to have to stress about life while I’m in school, so they have covered everything,” a fellow student defended her $20,000 car, bill-free life, Starbuck’s in hand, and Daddy’s credit card in her Coach purse.
I’m sorry, Daddy Warbucks, but you are not protecting your baby girl by paying off all of her debt. When the going gets tough she calls you for money. I fully believe that struggle fosters growth, and without the struggle, Sally McSheltered will break down at the sign of the first rough waters of life.
Knowing that I was on my own for college pushed me to work harder for scholarships. I had a paper route at age 12, and a ‘real’ part-time job at 14. I have worked hard every since. This may be an extreme example, and I am not encouraging you to kick your Middle School student out. I am, however, urging you to insist that your college student or High School graduate get a job.
These ‘kids’ are privileged, and it’s not their fault. They are now adults that don’t know where to go or what to do.
I am very lucky to have parents that are currently well-off. I know that if I had a financial emergency that they would loan me the money I need. However, I also know that I would pay them back as soon as I had the chance.
You are their parents. You don’t owe them college or rent or groceries. Teaching them how to function as an independent adult is your responsibility. In the long run, not ‘stressing’ over a job hinders more than helps. Sponsoring their young-adult experiences is the easy way out for both you and your children.
Cut you twenty-something year old ‘kid’ off. Make them work for what they want. They may be angary if they have to skip Spring Break due to lack of funds, but they will learn that they can’t have every single thing that they want. Deciding to make a pot of coffee instead of hitting Starbucks, or shopping at the mall or Goodwill instead of high end stores may bring down their ‘image’, but in the end it will make more independent and less privileged adults.
