Parents, Leash Your Children, Or Don't Take Them To An Art Museum

Parents, Leash Your Children, Or Don't Take Them To An Art Museum

It is an inappropriate place to take a small child who doesn't even want to be there.
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For New Years, my family and I decided to brave the blizzard and travel to Washington D.C to partake in all the culture. As we walked in the Hirshhorn, we were delighted to see that it was desolate, the ice scaring tourists away until the sun rose higher in the sky.

We ascended to the Ai Weiwei exhibit, which stunningly exhibited the faces of human rights activists and pioneers, spelling out their hushed story or heroism through a universal object: Legos. Yes, 10 of these installations were made entirely of our favorite, and most painful, childhood toy.

For any child, even myself, you can’t help but feel the urge to pick them off the floor and build a mini castle. For this one particular little boy, that was his intention. I saw it in his eyes, and he ran toward the art, fists open and ready.

As he (almost) frolicked into the third installation, his father ran and picked him up, setting off the alarm and nearly tumbling himself. After a scolding from the guard, he put his son in the stroller as he protested this decision furiously. I let out a breath of relief, thinking what the outcome would have been if the father had caught the boy one second later.

How fucked would this beautiful installation be by a little boy who wanted to play?

Sure, I am not a parent; I don’t understand the plights of parents and their inability to control their child’s every movement.

No, it was not that parent’s fault.

It was not that child’s fault: how can a child know better?

However, that is the point exactly; children, at such a young age, don’t understand why you can’t touch some things or the consequences of their actions.

I saw so many children on their phones, rolling their eyes at the Rothko that looked like “something I could have made”, and complaining about how busy it was. The art museum is no place for children: it’s for individuals to interpret and breathe abstractly, not a child. Take them to the zoo (animal prison), natural history museum, space museum, anywhere interactive. A child can relate more to a Trex fossil or Elephant or even the universe more than a Pollock. Don’t torture them, or me, for that matter.

If worse comes to worse, and you have to take your child, get them a leash. It seems to work for dogs.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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19 Reasons French Bulldogs Are Scientifically Proven To Be The Best Kind Of Dogs

Because they are the best dogs.

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Now I may be biased, but I believe that French Bulldogs are just simply the best.

Not only are they super cute but they definitely have a unique personality.

That being said, here are 19 things that every French Bulldog owner has experienced:

1. Having to explain to people that you have a pig as a pet that’s not really a pig

Pig

2. Having to explain to people that it is also a mouse

Mouse

3. Having to explain to people that it is also a bat

Bat

Those ears are just too cute!

4.  Having to deal with the strange looks people give you when you say that

Crazy

5. Having to clean your Frenchie’s wrinkles

Clean

Gotta keep 'em clean!

6. Struggling to choose just one outfit to buy them when you go to the store

Costume

7.  Trying to sleep but their snoring keeps you up

Sleeping

8. But then you get used to their snoring and miss it when you don’t hear it

Alone

9. Laughing at that little hop they do when they get excited

Hop

10. Laughing at their butt just wiggling when they get excited, since they don’t have a tail

Tail

11. Having everyone coo at your Frenchie when you walk it

Frenchie

12.  Having a need to buy another one

Frenchies

They are like potato chips, you cant just have just one.

13. Occasionally hearing a random snorting sound out of the blue

Sleeping

14. Being protective over your Frenchie

Protective

They would never bite up your shoe! How dare someone assume that. Some other dog probably did it.

15. Taking 1,000s of pictures and videos of your Frenchie and then sending them to people

Taking pictures

16. Missing your Frenchie when you go away on vacation

Miss dog

17. Having to turn back on a walk after 1 block  in the summer because they get hot easily

Tired

They are not lazy. They just can't go that far!

18. Not being able to leave food anywhere on a low level surface

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They are little vacuum cleaners.

19. Falling in love more and more every day with your wrinkly little baby

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My AP Environmental Science Class' Cookie Mining Experiment Shows Why Capitalism Is Destroying The Planet

Who cares about the environment with profits this high?

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With the AP exams in May approaching quickly, my AP Environmental Science class has wasted no time in jumping right into labs. To demonstrate the damage to the environment done by strip mining, we were instructed to remove the chocolate chips from cookies.

The experiment in itself was rather simple. We profited from fully or partially extracted chips ($8 for a full piece and $4 for a partial) and lost from buying tools, using time and area and incurring fines.

This might seem simplistic, but it showcased the nature of disastrous fossil fuel companies.

We were fined a $1 per minute we spent mining. It cost $4 per tool we bought (either tweezers or paper clips) and 50 cents for every square centimeter of cookie we mined.

Despite the seemingly overbearing charges compared to the sole way to profit, it was actually really easy to profit.

If we found even a partial chocolate chip per minute, that's $3 profit or utilization elsewhere. Tools were an investment that could be made up each with a partial chip, and clearly we were able to find much, much more than just one partial chip per tool.

Perhaps the most disproportionally easiest thing to get around were the fines. We were liable to be fined for habitat destruction, dangerous mining conditions with faulty tools, clutter, mess and noise level. No one in the class got fined for noise level nor faulty tools, but we got hit with habitat destruction and clutter, both of which added up to a mere $6.

We managed to avoid higher fines by deceiving our teacher by pushing together the broken cookie landscapes and swiping away the majority of our mess before being examined for fining purposes. This was amidst all of our cookies being broken into at least three portions.

After finding many, many chips, despite the costs of mining, we profited over $100. We earned a Franklin for destroying our sugary environment.

We weren't even the worst group.

It was kind of funny the situations other groups simulated to their cookies. We were meant to represent strip mining, but one group decided to represent mountaintop removal. Mountaintop removal is where companies go to extract resources from the tops of mountains via explosions to literally blow the tops off. This group did this by literally pulverizing their cookies to bits and pieces with their fists.

They incurred the maximum fine of $45. They didn't profit $100, however.

They profited over $500 dollars.

In the context of our environmental science class, these situations were anywhere from funny to satisfying. In the context of the real world, however, the consequences are devastating our environment.

Without even mentioning the current trajectory we're on approaching a near irreversible global temperature increase even if we took drastic measures this moment, mining and fracking is literally destroying ecosystems.



We think of earthquakes as creating mass amounts of sudden movement and unholy deep trenches as they fracture our crust. With dangerous mining habits, we do this ourselves.

Bigger companies not even related to mining end up destroying the planet and even hundreds of thousands of lives. ExxonMobil, BP? Still thriving in business after serial oil spills over the course of their operation. Purdue Pharma, the company who has misled the medical community for decades about the effects of OxyContin and its potential for abuse, is still running and ruining multitudes more lives every single day.

Did these companies receive fines? Yes.

But their business model is too profitable to make the fines have just about any effect upon their operation.

In our cookie mining simulation, we found that completely obliterating the landscape was much more profitable than being careful and walking on eggshells around the laws. Large, too-big-to-fail companies have held the future of our planet in their greedy paws and have likewise pulverized our environment, soon enough to be unable to return from.

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