oxford comma

5 Reasons I Will Defend The Oxford Comma To My Grave, AP Style Be Damned

I will fight you on this.

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As a very passionate English major, I have something to say: the elimination of the Oxford comma is not okay. In case you don't know, by definition, the Oxford comma is the last comma in a list, typically right before the conjunction.

I have grown to love this comma, as it provides the clarity many list-oriented sentences need. There is absolutely no reason to eliminate this comma, and I will continue to defend my point of view for these five reasons.

1. List items are equal

Superhero Grammer

If the sentence above were to be spoken in real life, the speaker would be attempting to refer to three different entities. Because the first entity includes two people, it appears that the speaker is specifying the who the people in the first entity are. If there was a comma between "Superman" and "and," the fact that the speaker is talking about three entities would be much

2. Differentiates one item from another

US Comma Court Case

The separation powers of the Oxford comma can be make-or-break in lots of sentences containing lists of tasks. Unclear situations can cause all sorts of problems. Just take a look at this court case.

3. It sounds fancy

Oxford

If your mind doesn't automatically go to beautiful images of England when you hear the word "Oxford," we need to talk. Oxford is fancy, period end of story.

4. Pleasing to look at

Comma Meme

Don't tell me you don't find the Oxford comma aesthetically pleasing. It provides an immense amount of visual organization that is unmatched by any other punctuation.

5. Taught to us in school

Comma Joke

I was a teenager when the Oxford comma started to disappear from grammar textbooks. My peers and I had been taught to use this comma for our whole grammar education. Don't you dare try to take it away from me now.

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50 Crazy Shower And Stoned Thoughts

“In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you’ve left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you.” -Woody Allen
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Wether its shower thoughts or ideas we had while we are high, I bet we have all thought of some weird things at one point or another. Here is 50 weird thoughts from the internet and from me.


1. Food Vs Drink

In the english language you can drink a drink but you don't food a food.

- me and apparently quite a few other people on the internet


2. Living Room

Can you die in a living room? Has anyone ever died in a living room? It would be the most ironic death to have. If somebody dies in a living room, is it still a living room?


3. Multi universe Theory

If the multi universe theory is true, is there a universe where it isn't?


4. Fly

If a fly losses its wings is it now a walk?


5. Lightning McQueen

Would Lightning McQueen get care insurance or life insurance?


6. Pinocchio

What would happen if Pinocchio said his nose was going to grow?


7. Rainday

If it rains on a Sunday does that mean that its now Rainday?


8. Bedroom

When you buy a bigger bed you have more bed room but less bedroom.


9. Blind Dreams

Can a blind person see their dreams?


10. Cinderella

If her outfit was supposed to disappear at midnight, why did her shoe not go away too? Also if Cinderella's shoes fit perfectly to her feet, why did one fall off in the first place?


11. Moonwalking

If you moonwalk on the moon, are you just walking?


12. Cookies & Bacon

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


13. Deaf Thoughts

If someone is born deaf, what language do they think in? Do they think in written words and pictures? Do they think in sign language?


14. Seaweed

If you were to smoke weed at sea, does that make it seaweed?


15. OMG

Would Jesus Christ say "oh my God" or "oh my dad"?


16. Race

If you were in a race by your self, would you finish in first or last?


17. Driving

Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?


18. Sweater

If you sweat in a sweater, does that make you the sweater?


19. Mars

When Mars becomes colonized, will anyone born there be considered a Martian?


20. Fetch

What if the dog brings the toy, ball, or stick back to you just because they think you enjoy throwing it and want to make you happy?

- me


21. Tomato

If Tomatoes are really a fruit, is ketchup a jelly/jam?


22. Water

If humans are mostly water, does that mean that Earth is mostly human?


23. I'm Sorry

I'm sorry and I apologize have the exact same meaning unless you are at a funeral.


24. Building

Why is a building called a building if its already built?


25. Apple Houses

If Apple were to make houses, would the houses have Windows?


26. God

Assuming the bible and Christianity is real, God created us but who created God? Did he create himself and if so how? Did somebody else create him and if so, does that mean that there really is more than one God but hes too egotistical to acknowledge this since he wants all attention on himself? And who would of made the God that made God? Did the big bang perhaps make God instead? If the big bang made God, is that a good enough thought / explanation to how the world was created, that would make both scientists and religious people happy and thus bringing upon peace between the two very different ways of thinking?

Also what if God stays in Heaven and doesn't interact with us as much any more because he actually fears what he has created?

- Me and a quite a few other people on the internet


27. Age Old Question

If it was possible to eat all of yourself would you become twice as big or would you disappear?

- Pretty much everyone


28. Dora The Explorer

If Dora is an explorer, why does she only visit mapped areas.


29. Answers

If you replace the w with a t in what, where, when, you have an answer.


30. Hitler

What would of happened if Hitler would of got accepted into the Vienna art school? Would Hitler ever have got into politics at all? Would he still have written mein kampf or became such a powerful leader? Would there still have been Jew hatred and concentration camps? Would Germany have even been in world war 2? Would we be studying Adolf Hitler as a great artist with a charismatic personality instead of a powerful dictator that many will agree is a horrible person?

- Me


31. Holy Shit

If you take a shit at church does that make it a holy shit?


32. Fossils

I the future, will modern humans ever be dug up and displayed at a museum like we did to dinosaur fossils and to the cavemen? Will there ever be a human version of Jurassic Park in which humans have the dino roles and the human roles will be replaced by what ever is the future's newest highest position life form and will this life form think that this jurassic park is something they came up with all their own?

- me


33. Radiation

In Japan, radiation makes giant monsters like Godzilla but in America, radiation creates superheros


34. Is Life Really Unfair?

If life is unfair to everyone, doesn't that make life fair?


35. History

History classes are only going to get longer and more difficult as time goes on.


36. Fire

Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.


37. Time is Money

If time is money, is an ATM a time machine?


A

Time

Machine


38. Lasagna

Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.


39. Argument

If two vegans or vegetarians argue, is it still considered beef?


40. Nine Months

If babies are in the womb for 9 months, why aren't they considered 9 months old when they are born?


41. Packages

Deliveries by ships are cargo and deliveries by car are shipments.


42. Home Work

If a teacher gives a homeless kid homework, is it still considered homework?


43. Actions

They say actions speak louder than words but isn't speaking an action?


44. Speed Run

Would every Sonic play though be considered a speed run?


45. Cheese Cake

Cheese cake is secretly a pie.

- my brother Chris, some of his friends, and me.


46. Clapping

Clapping is repeatedly hitting yourself because you like something.


47. Grammar Nazi

The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar nazi.


48. Dirt

When ever you dig up a rock or some dirt, that could be the first time it has seen the sun in millions of years.


49. Ninjas

What if every country has ninjas and we only know about Japan's ninjas because they are so bad at being ninjas?


50. Poop

Every day, someone on Earth takes the biggest poop in the whole world for that day. That person could even be you!

Cover Image Credit: Teaching High School Psychology

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Stand-Up Comedy Can Make The Most Stressful Days Way Easier

If you're stressed to the max, I highly recommend giving stand-up comedy specials a try!

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Have you ever been laying in bed after a long and stressful day, scrolling through Netflix, trying to find something to watch? You can't make a decision on something, so you decide to try something new. Now, this could be a big mistake or you could find something amazing. This happened to me a few weeks ago and somehow I ended up in the stand-up comedy section. I have seen a couple of clips of Gabriel Iglesias, or "Fluffy," on YouTube in the past, but I've never watched a stand-up comedy special on Netflix before. It never was appealing to me and I don't know many people that watch stand-up.

After deciding to watch Gabriel Iglesias' new Netflix special, I was intrigued. Then, my friend told me that I had to watch Bert Kreischer's new Netflix special. He promised that I would find it funny and that he was really good. He added that Bert does all of his performances shirtless and it makes it that much funnier. So, I watched it and I've been hooked to stand-up ever since. Now, I've become a fan of the many classic stand-up comedians that many people know and love like Kevin Hart, Ellen Degeneres, and Iliza Shlesinger as well. It quickly became something I couldn't get enough of, especially after a stressful day. I figured out that even after the most trying day and even when I was extremely stressed or drowning in homework, I forgot about all of that. I got an hour to myself to just take a breath, have a good laugh, and forget about all of my problems.

A lot of times, I use the hour to eat some food while I watch the special or just lay in bed for a little while and enjoy forgetting about all of the things I could be doing. I've also learned some things. Like the fact that Ellen got her start by doing stand-up, or that Fluffy is coming to Columbus this summer to do a show. I also learned that even though these people are celebrities and have thousands of followers and fans, they're very relatable and more like me than I realized. We sometimes forget that they are people too.

I highly recommend taking an hour out of your day to see if stand-up comedy could be a stress reliever for you. This is definitely a topic that many people don't think of when it comes to relieving stress or getting into a better mood. I'm glad I stumbled across this new found stress reliever to be able to try something different and new and to enjoy a good laugh while doing so. If you're down in the dumps or having a hard day, try watching stand-up. I promise it'll make your day better.

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