My body is a temple. It shelters everything I was, am, and will be. It houses my intelligence, my personality, and my emotions. Most importantly – it is my one and only unconditional home.

I should feel nothing but safety, respect, comfort, and utter serenity. This is the blatant truth for everyone and anyone.

You, though, you tookthat from me. From most girls. You broke down the walls of my temple. You taught me that not only is my body disrespected, but it is also not safe. The walls of my castle are broken down – turned to rubble.

Every time I begin to build up my self-respect, you remind me that I am stuck in this relentless cycle of pain and desperation. NO – I do NOT want to send you any pictures of my vulnerable, exposed body. NO – I do NOT want to hear all the “sexy and kinky” things you want to do to me. NO – I do NOT want to come to your room because “your roommate is out for the night” and you have the room to yourself. NO – I do NOT want to add gasoline to the fire that already is burning my self-confidence and respect to the ground.

Every time you tell me that I “owe you” something or that I “know I want to,” remember what you’re doing. You are telling me that I have no choice in what I want. Should drive a dagger through my own heart and morals because of something YOU want? Why would I demote my own emotions for that of your pleasure?

The minute you ask for anything, pressure me into doing something, or force me to belittle myself – know that I just lost every ounce of respect I have ever had for you.

Now tune in and pay attention because here is what you want to see – my naked vulnerability.

You took everything from me. You took my strength, my respect, and my trust. Now I frequently pass you on the sidewalk with quivering knees and an aching heart. I lock, double lock, and triple lock my door at night. I am ripped from my sleep with ominous nightmares of you and your unforgiving hands on my body, as if you reached into my very heart and obliterated my soul. Nothing I do can ever abolish the images forever engraved in the forefront of my mind of each violating, earth-shattering, traumatizing moment for instilled in me.

You, and most other men, have made me feel as if I owe you something. Sex, love, a late-night booty call – whatever it may be. You make me physically ill at the thought of succumbing to you. I feel sorry for the man who falls in love with me and wants to spend his eternity with me because you, yes you, tore me down to the deepest, darkest abyss. The man who wants to marry me will have to carry me while I learn to recover from the damage you have caused my heart.

So, listen and listen well. I do NOT owe you anything. Not one thing. You already have more than enough of me without even realizing it.