Having a loved one pass away is one of the hardest things that any human being will go through. If you ask me, the first year of them being gone is definitely the hardest, and along with the first year, comes the first holiday season. The holidays are all about being with the people that mean the most to you, and when someone you love is no longer here, it's difficult to deal with.
I was blessed with a third set of grandparents, they were actually my sibling and I's babysitters. They began to take care of us when my oldest sister was still an infant, she is now twenty-six. Middy and Dick became a part of our family, and we were always over at their house. My real grandparents lived about 3 hours away from us, so it was so nice to have someone close to home to help take care of us when we were younger. My sister's and I loved going over to Middy and Dick's house. They had a pool, delicious food, and cable! (We didn't have cable growing up, so we got about 5 decent channels.) As long as I can remember, every Christmas Eve, we would go over to their house to have an early dinner and to open presents. The last time we all got to do that was December of 2013. In August of 2014, Middy passed away. She passed away on my oldest sister's birthday, and then the funeral was on mine. At the time, it was weird to me as to why it fell on those dates, but because of that, I'll never forget her. (God works in mysterious ways.) Some time after, Dick was moved into a wonderful assisted living facility, but it was hard for him because he was always so independent. I remember Christmas 2014 being extremely hard. It was the first year that we wouldn't be going over to their house before church, but at least we could still go and visit Dick. Then on January 5, 2016, Dick passed away. This will be our first Christmas without the both of them.
I have dealt with losing family members before, but I was very young so I don't remember much. In a way, this is all still new to me. As said before, the holidays are about being with those you love. So how do you deal with not being with all of them? I've found that talking about them and sharing memories is a great way to do this. Memories are wonderful and precious things. The person may have passed on, but in a way they are still there with you. They live within the memories you have of them. During family events, you can often find yourself reminiscing upon silly things they did and advice they gave you. That's what I plan on doing during this holiday season. I'll think about how beautifully decorated their house always was, and how my sister's and I try to make our home look that good. (It never does, but we try.) I'll think about how much they loved us and how they still do even now. I'll remember baking cookies with them for literally 6 hours and how we brought that tradition into my home.
Your loved ones may have passed on from this world, but they never truly leave you. You'll see them all around you this holiday season, all you have to do is look. This may be my first Christmas without Middy and Dick here on Earth, but I'll never truly have a Christmas without them.
