I understand that we live in a world where the greatest asset a woman can have is a marketable façade.
I understand that you did not mean to be malicious, but rather that you were trying to give me the best shot out in the world and protect me from the inevitable judgment that would come.
I understand, but you too must understand that by saying this, you are telling me that I am not good enough as I am. You are telling me that no matter what my qualifications are or how hard I work, it will always boil down to what I look like.
Can you imagine what that feels like to a child? The first time I was told that I should put a little make-up on I was in seventh grade. Tweleve years-old, all awkward curves and mind stained with insecurities, but still you decided now was the time to teach me that the society will never see me as enough. You said it would make me feel pretty— that it would bring out my "best features"— and it did. For a time, I felt prettier than I had in all my life and I could see why women bought into this ideal. For once I could be one of the "pretty" girls and attract all the attention I wanted and didn't want. It was thrilling and new, but spending my mornings trapped in front of a mirror soon lost its appeal and all the little voices of doubt in the back of my mind came rushing to the surface the moment I wiped the foundation from my face. I remember staring in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back.
Again, I understand, but I hope that you understand why I cannot follow your advice, anymore. Even then, at my most vulnerable age, I could not truly believe that all I had to give the world was another pretty face to look at because I knew I had so much more.
I had opinions and knowledge that would not be silenced behind pretty red lips. I had eyes that saw the world beyond layers of mascara and false lashes. I had skin scarred by life and struggles and I will not cover those up because when it all boils down, that I who I am.
I am flawed. I am so extremely flawed and so is everyone else. So why are we forcing people to market a façade?
