Dear Happy Place,
I miss you. I truly, truly do. From the excitement of packing to come to you, the drive back home, to every second in between. You're more than just a lakehouse to me. You hold within you loads and loads of memories and moments that I wouldn't change for the world. However, even though I have found happiness and peace in you, you are connected to the ultimate source of my unhappiness, my father. With the choice that I made over a year ago to discontinue seeing him, I have lost my ability to see you as well.
Of course I stand by my decision to no longer see him. He was abusive in multiple forms and I can tell that I am a better person when I am not around him. But, it is easy to say that the consequences of this choice are hard to live with. An entire side of my family has been placed on the other side of a wall. People that I care about are now separated simply due to complex connections. This also goes for my dog, friends connected to that side of the family, and you.
You are owned by his friends, making it practically impossible to ever see you again. But we've had our good times, quite countless, actually. I'll miss those weekends where I am enwrapped in you. Embrace you by Friday, dance with you through Saturday, and hesitantly depart on Sunday. Staring out onto your shimmering waters, feeling the wind hit my face as I speed down the lake in their boat, clinging for dear life on a tube, performing tricks on the diving board and neighbor's dock, using stale bread to catch fish, watching the marvelous firework show, and enjoying all the little things.
The games, the laughs, the memories, I only wish they would have lasted a little longer. It is truly unfortunate that I was forced to give you up when I gave up that part of my life. And I hope you can understand that. Perhaps I will return. Not in the same way as before, but maybe by coincidence. I believe if it is meant to be, I will see you again. Also, if I am lucky enough, I would give my children the same experience of getting to know you.
To have a house on the lake is not only having a lake house. It enables you to experience nature in a way like no other. A chance to feel like you're flying, even though you're simply riding at the front of a boat. Or maybe just a chance to play and feel like a kid again. If anyone would have the chance to come to you, they need to take it. You are a blessing, you always have been. While I struggled with my Father, you gave me a trip to look forward to, and a comforting environment to get lost in when only negative thoughts raced through my mind. You will always hold a special place in my heart, thoughts, and mind.
Yours,
Megan
