To the guy who cut me in line at Dunkin Donuts last summer,
First and foremost: WHERE DO YOU GET OFF, PAL? It's been a few months since this happened, July, actually, and I'm still upset about this. Where do you get off? What gives you the right to just whoosh right into line, wearing your button-down blue plaid shirt and pre-torn jeans from Hollister, and not pay any attention to my BIG A** behind you in line? I don't get it, dude, and to this day I'm still wondering if you're blind or just straight up ignorant. Still finding an answer to that elusive question.
Second, what kind of guy cuts someone in line at Dunkin Donuts to just order water?
I am very disappointed in your choice of order, sir. I can't see anyone ordering water from a menu that has some fantastic and delicious food and drinks. DUDE, we're talking ice coffee, iced tea, freaking COOLATAS. And you, Mr. Wonderful, Mr. I-Can-Pull-Off-A-Cool-Look-Even-Though-I-Have-A-Disney-Bracelet-On, ORDERS A LARGE ICED WATER. WITHOUT A LEMON, TOO! I would not be this upset if someone and their six kids cut me in line and ordered the entire menu before I can place my order. That, my friend, would be okay. But how dare you just order water. How. Dare. You.
Thirdly, I am very upset with how you treated the employee when you ordered DD's world-famous water. She was an extremely nice, just out of high school employee who was just trying to be friendly to her customer.
DD Employee Jen: "Hello, what can I get you?"
PLAID Man: "Iced Water. Large. No lemon."
DD Employee Jen: "Okay, can I get you anything else today, sir?"
PLAID Man: *gives her one dollar" "Keep it" *moves out of line without saying thanks*
DD Employee Jen: *has a sad look in her eye as he does so* "Have a good day"
PLAID Man: *nothing*
THAT. That right there is what pushed me over the freakin' edge. I was raised to give anyone I meet a sign of respect when taking my order, cutting my hair, even bailing me out of jail, dude. BUT YOU DECIDE TO JUST THROW A DOLLAR AT HER AND WALK AWAY? WITHOUT SAYING THANKS? ACKKKKK *insert me cringe-coughing here at my desk at the time of this correspondence*
Finally, and this is what really, REALLY tickled my annoying bone. YOU. TOOK. THE. LAST. STRAW. FROM. THE. COUNTER.
RED ALERT. FULL RED ALERT. WTF, DUDE? You know, I already decided to forgive you in my mind after I ordered my medium Vanilla Bean Coolata with whipped cream with no problem. I said hi to Jen, I asked her how her day was, I said please and thank you without mumbling or being rude. I WAS A GENTLEMAN. And what do you do that makes me not forgive you for what you've done? You take...the last...straw...
This is not a letter from me forgiving you, this is not even a letter trying to see how we can patch things up. This is a letter calling you out for the narcissistic, ignorant, and ill-minded person you are. The only thing I don't know about you is your name, sir. I hope you go on in life reflecting on this and treating employees named Jen with more respect than what you did that hot afternoon in July.
From me with anger,
Jacob Prest
P.S. Jen gave me a straw from behind the counter, and what did I say to her? A sign of thanks, not a demand.
