I have learned in my 18 years or so on this planet, that change is extremely unpredictable, also usually unwanted, but always a blessing in disguise. I grew up in probably one of the most unorthodox situations possible. I moved multiple times growing up, went through lots of difficult times and parent configurations before I was adopted.
A lot of the time when I retell my life story to people, they react with a similar question of "How did you manage to get through all of that?". Never had I had an answer to this question, a question I have been getting since I was about 9 years old. Almost 10 years has this question cast a deep dark shadow in my mental doorway. I finally have an answer.
Scholars have talked about the idea of fear for centuries... it's something that is always persistent in our day to day lives, never knowing when we take our last breath, if we come home to our loved ones at night, or even just whether you can ace a project in school or a pitch at work. We are constantly mentally preparing ourselves for the shock of an event that shakes us to the core. Fear is characterized into a being that is allowed to barge into any door and flip as many tables as they want.
However, I don't think that way. I never let fear cast even a mere shadow on my mind. I lost my bio mom when I was 9 years old. I had and still do have a hard time coming to terms and accepting that. I was never scared though. I never let fear be an option for me to resort to. When I was 13, I went into foster care and by my 14th birthday, I was being fostered by my aunt and uncle.
To go live with them meant me leaving all I had ever known including the friends I had, other family, and start over 800 miles away.
Looking back, I remember being nervous about making friends and fitting in, etc. but I was never "scared". I didn't feel like fear was a reasonable response.
Everyone does handle trauma and events and processes things differently, so this isn't feasible for some. Nevertheless, I deal with anxiety and I know what soul piercing fear feels like. I have been in that position, but change isn't to be feared. Change should be embraced and celebrated. I have former classmates that are starting to get their acceptance letters to their dream colleges. Those which might very well bring in the reality that comes August, they could be like me, hundreds of miles away from their parents, siblings, best friends and maybe even a significant other. My best friend is military bound and even though it's an amazing opportunity, it's still a lot different from hanging out on the weekends in our dorm. But to all of those expecting or going through change, it might be uncomfortable or even undesirable, just think of all the opportunities to come from making the best of the worst or enhancing the positive outcomes already being introduced. There are old scars that still scare me. There are things that make me fearful. Change is not, has not, and will never be one of those things. I hope that you can say the same, too.
