Dear ORU lovies,

As you know, there is a variety of different stereotypes about being a student at ORU, but can we talk about the grossest one by far for just a second? “Ring by spring": This notion that female students only care to come to college to find a nice Jesus-lovin’ boy to put a ring on it by the time we graduate is the actual worst. I’m not saying that this is not the case for some ladies, but I’m here to speak for the silent majority – the girls who have worked their butts off and chosen a school with a unique worldview because they are capable of living a life of intelligence, individualism, and success, regardless of their relationship status.

I promise I’m not a man-hating, bra-burning psycho who doesn’t believe in marriage. I think marriage is beautiful and cool and can be such a blessing when it’s done right – when you’ve lived and grown as your own person for a while, when you’ve traveled a little and actually figured out who the heck you are and what you want. People have this idea that life doesn’t really begin until they have a wife or a husband (with a killer job) and a house with a picket fence, but it’s a journey. It’s already started and there’s so much we can do by ourselves first. There’s so much we can figure out on our own.

In the words of author Carolyn Custis James, “Even for those women who enthusiastically embrace marriage and motherhood as their highest calling, a substantial part of their lives is without a husband and/or children. A message that points to the marriage altar as the starting gate of God’s calling for women leaves us with nothing to tell them except that God’s purpose for them is not here and now, but somewhere down the road.”

You’re the one person you’ll have to live with for your whole life, so go big. Do what makes you happy. Do what works for you and don’t depend on anybody else. I promise you don’t need a husband to drop everything and go on a road trip to somewhere you’ve never been before. You don’t need a husband to land a kick ass job and go anywhere in the world that you want. You don’t need a husband to be happy right now, even ever.

Boys: Not every girl who says "hi" to you wants to marry you. Not every girl who catches you looking at her for half a second thinks you want to devote every day for the rest of your life to loving her. It’s true. I tell you this with as much grace as I can muster right at this second: chill out, man.

This is an insanely cool part of our lives. We don’t have to worry about what anybody else is doing or take a spouse or kids into consideration when we make decisions. Take advantage and experience things, go places you might not be able to later down the road.

In the cheesy, glorious words of Christina Yang, “He’s very dreamy, but he is not the sun. You are.”