Dear College That Changed My Life,

I just want to start by saying thank you for making me a better, more independent, psychopathic person. I mean isn’t that the recipe for college? If so, then I’m on the verge of making a New York Times Bestseller Cookbook. You gave me the confidence to illegally walk the crosswalk while feeling like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex In The City. No, it's totally fine because I knew if I died, I died beautifully and exam stress-free.

Without you, I wouldn’t know how to survive with one meal a day while walking 658933 miles to class without going into cardiac arrest.

Without you, I wouldn’t know how to sneak into the frat houses in full disguise with the pseudonym as “Tiffany from the Coast.” Oh yeah, hey boys!

Without you, I wouldn’t have experienced drunken nights on The Square eating Chevron’s infamous chicken on the stick while waiting for Uber.

Without you, I wouldn’t have experienced cramming on an Albert Einstein level yet totally failing the exam. This taught me to study more, and party less.

Without you, I wouldn’t have experienced the extraordinary, yet mind-blowing tailgating phenomenon. *Fun fact: During The Walk of Champions, Chad Kelly touched my hand and I didn’t wash it for 3 days.*

Without you, I wouldn’t know how to write an 8-page paper in 24hrs but surprisingly get an A.

Without you, I wouldn’t know the beauty of The Grove and that we should never take it for granted.

Without you, I wouldn’t have experienced gangster squirrels who looked like Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob but acted like Muhammad Ali.

Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today and that’s why you’ll always have a special place in my heart. Even if I fail 6 classes and get hit by a bus.

Thank you,

A student who will be a future celebrity