When I was in high school, my sister told me something that will forever stay with me: she said, “Sam, you’ve got to decide who you are before others do for you.” The concept of someone else choosing my fate completely terrified me. So that same night, I sat down and I decided exactly who I was, and who I would be. I pinpointed precisely what I believed in, and although I believe in many things, there was one particular over-arching belief in my life that I couldn’t help but to illuminate.

I realize that at any given moment everything I know could change by some life-altering event: of the mind, of the heart, hell—of the body. I’ve seen it and I’ve experienced it but I still press on without hesitation, because I believe I create my own destiny.

I’ve seen tragedy; nothing shakes a family more than the departure of two loved ones within six months. They will never attend my wedding, or give me those hugs that lasted way too long or be there to make Christmas so special. I have also experienced loss in the not so traditional sense; in high school, I had a boyfriend who chose infidelity over honesty. I lost more than just trust and respect that day. I lost a best friend. And I swear no one has felt the kind of disappointment I felt my senior year of high school when I was less than half of a point away from qualifying for state—a dream of mine forever expired. So many people had been following my story and rooting for my success, so when I uncharacteristically fell on the floor, I felt an entire county’s heartbreak.

Would you believe me if I told you I wouldn’t change any of it? Not a single moment? Life has this way of happening whether we want it to or not, and a lot of times I believe we have no say in the matter. But I do believe that we have a choice in how we react. Life isn’t so much about acting, as much as it is about reacting. This realization has shaped my day-to-day decisions because I believe I create my own destiny.

I am 19 years old and I feel I have already experienced so much life, I know some 19-year-olds couldn’t say the same, while others could say more than I could even imagine. It is so hard to be self-assured when the world is so eager to throw opinions at me, riddled with criticism and structure, telling me what the right way looks like as if it were tangible. I always feel something is missing, and sometimes this evident lack so transparent, that I wonder if anyone else can feel it too. And before long I can clearly see that no one can. Misunderstood and confused, I can feel the isolation slowly creeping over me. I breathe a little harder knowing loneliness is something to fear, or at least people act like it is. For a second I wonder if I should be afraid too. It always happens this way until I come to the same conclusion I always do: Ihave the power to create my own destiny.

I am not afraid. I recognize my difference of thought but instead of fearing it, I embrace it. I won’t ever do what is popular, but I will always do what is right for me. If I find myself not where I want to be, I will work harder, think broader, changing my habits until I construct the type of result that I visualize for myself. My path will not look like yours, so please, do not look to me for directions; I am busy creating my own because I create my own destiny.