There you were, the one who I love and forever will, but you won't ever know. You are the most amazing human I've ever met. The connection we have, the bond we have, is literally amazing. We've understood each other, we didn't even have to speak sometimes to understand each other, we just know. The way you looked at me before is the way I've always wanted someone to look at me, but it was only when you were drunk. We can have relationship type of events, we can laugh during that intimate moment, we can stop and go again without feeling weird. The bond feels like a true connection, that love feeling, feeling that it was so right. There was never a time when it felt wrong. As expected, we have some of the hardest times together, but it never broke us. You were the only true friend that showed up to my family events (even the sad ones) and even though you had never met my family like that.
You have been there for me at my lowest lows. There was a time where I felt like I had hit rock bottom, even though I wasn't even close to it. You made me a better person, you made me feel things I'd thought that I'd never feel about myself ever.
You made me see the good in me that I would have never been able to see without you. You always saw the flaws I had but never let me feel like my flaws were the only things you saw. When you saw my flaws instead of making me feel bad for them you made me see that my flaws made me who I am; my flaws complete me and don't make me a bad person, they make me human. You never lets me cry alone, when I need to cry you just will sit there and let me cry, without a word. Just like everyone should for their closest friends. But the way you did it was better than anyone else, you just put your arms holding me tight and kissing my forehead. Even though you hate to see me cry, you understand that I need my time to cry sometimes. If you can't stop the tears you would rather be there holding me so I never feel alone. But most of the time you can make me smile when I am drowning in tears and I forget how to smile, you remind me.
You are a true angel and I never thought I would see someone this way. I know you have flaws, too, but your flaws honestly make you the person you are and that's someone who I can only look at with complete love. That is how I know how true the love is, when I can see all of your flaws but still love you with my whole heart. There will never be hate in my eyes while looking at you. I hurt when you tell me about someone that you find attractive, but I would be lying if I said I didn't find other people attractive as well.
What matters is that I was the one who you wanted to be to be around. I was the one you laughed with. I was the one who you looked at, they were just random people or Instagram models. They don't have what we do. You showed me a lot of activities that now are memories that I honestly would have never been able to experience without you.
I am so in love with you. I don't know when I realized I was in love but the next thing I knew, you were the person who made my heart skip a beat when I heard your name, the person whose text would light up my day, and all of this is still so true but you have no idea about any of this. You will never know that you are the one who has my entire heart, I have never felt like this about someone before in my entire life. I just will never have the strength to tell you because if you don't feel the same, I'll lose my best friend. I know how bad it is to fall in love with your best friend and I promised myself I wouldn't fall for you but that is exactly what I did. I know we have our differences, but the differences that we have make us work better. Because if you were the same in all aspects as me we wouldn't work. Yes, you have to have similarities but some differences are good.
You are my person but you do not know it and never will. We are best friends and I have come to the conclusion that I rather just have you as my best friend in my life than not at all. I just want you to be happy. Even if I am not going to be the one by your side that you call yours that is okay. As long as you are happy, so am I.
With that being said, here is my devotion of love for you, if you're reading this and you think it sounds familiar, you're right it is about you. I know I just said I don't have the strength to ever tell you, that is a lie. I am starting to work my nerves up to tell you. This letter is just the start.
I love you,