"I really am disappointed in the lack of participation from you seniors."

We heard it time and time again. Seniors only had to go to two meetings per month, and everything else was more lenient, too. It's not like we did nothing all year; we were graduating. As a senior, everything become more stressful. You will soon graduate, enter the real world, get a real job, have bills and anything else that I am slowly realizing makes me a real adult. Finishing homework becomes less of a worry because there are five applications due yesterday, and your resume never looks perfect. Cover letters? I can't even begin with those. Being a senior is the most stressful time. They warned us we would miss it after graduation. Alums and mentors alike told us to cherish it and enjoy every second we could.

I sit here thinking about my sorority only two months into alumni status. I want to cry. I miss seeing my sisters all over campus, planning for recruitment and complaining about everything that was mandatory that week. I miss sitting in a row of seniors at the few meetings we attended and unity circles that brought us together for that moment. I would give anything to rewind and be an active again.

They say being in a sorority means you pay for your friends. I am telling you, I didn't pay near enough for mine. A sorority is more than a group of girls gossiping, going to a house and dressing up. Aside from all the philanthropies and volunteering, it's a family. I made new friends, grew closer to old ones and gained younger sisters who looked up to me. I can't begin to explain what it feels like to read,

"You're the reason I rushed."

"I look up to you so much and I have our sorority to thank for it."

"You and (demi-goddess) were amazing, I know you'll win Greek Week."

(We did, shoutout to my demi-goddess).

But being a sister means being there for the whole chapter. It means at a small campus, you see seven of your sisters after one class just walking. It means you have a roommate in and out of college. Your letters and paddles will be forever placed in your home, sorry to future husbands. You have a support system that is out of this world.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I missed walking into the bar or a party and instantly having someone to talk to. I'd be telling a major lie if I didn't say I miss running into my Little's room (even when she wasn't my quadmate) to wake her up at 4 a.m. just to tell her she's my Little, I'm too intoxicated and I love her. I was beyond lucky enough to have the most amazing sorority family I could have asked for. My twin is my favorite person. My Little resembles me so much, we would mix people up. My first grand-Little became my absolute best friend. Greek Life becomes a part of you.

When your advisers tell you to cherish every single moment, do it! My TimeHop of the last four years has been popping up recruitment pictures, signs and reminders for the last couple weeks. I would give anything to spend another $100+ on new recruitment stuff. I would kill to get a date at a party, spot them in voting and discuss it with my sisters. Believe it or not, I miss Standards Meetings, on either side of the table (what can I say? I had a blast). Bid Day, Revealing, Spirit Shout, "rival sororities," Greek Week, absolutely anything Big and Little related, you miss it more than you could ever have imagined.

To the seniors coming up, don't do what we did. You're going to think they are giving you the short end of the stick, just like we thought you were. You will be "those seniors," we all are. You just want everything, your last everything, to be so special and amazing. Live for every moment, because it ends sooner than you think.

To the sophomores and juniors, just deal with the seniors. They are freaking out. This has been their home away from home, just like it is yours. Live all of your moments, as well. Even though you will be returning in the fall, unlike them, you only get so many returns as an active.

To the freshman or new members, don't take this for granted. I did nothing my first year as an active and new member. I wasn't concerned with it until my last year and a half. This is the best decision you will make in college. Some of you will activate and decide it isn't for you, and that's OK, too. This isn't for everyone. But make sure you look past the stereotypes, rumors and houses. Look at who these girls truly are. These are the girls who will step up and back you no matter what happens on that campus.

To every sister, memory, friend, mistake, heartache, up and down. Here's to you, here's to me, (insert sorority) sisters, we'll always be.

Loyally,

A Very Sad Alum Who Just Wants To Be Active Again