Today is World Mental Health Day...and I'm not alright.  For the longest time I was in denial about my mental health. I didn't think I was actually depressed, I was just sad and not taking it well. I didn't think I had an eating disorder, I was just guilty when I ate because I didn't want to be fat. But none one of that was true. I have depresssion. I can feel it in every part of me. It lingers over me at all times and can be triggered by even the simplest things. And when it gets triggered, oh boy does it get triggered. You see, I have this face that I put on: Super happy and care free. Sarcastic. Smart. Driven. Healthy. People see me as a "strong person". So when something bad happens or if someone finds out I'm having a bad day...I usually get the same response "It will be okay. You're one of the strongest people I know." Well I'm not. I just have that face. The truth is, I'm breaking more and more every day. I hide how bad it is. And it's bad. So I reached out to the only person I'd ever shared how bad things were with. He was my best friend. A past roommate. We had known each other for years and grew increadibly close when he moved in. Then things went bad because of other people in our lives. I got worse when that happened. Sicker. But a little over a month ago we stared talking again. I was causious to not let him be that person again because in the year he was gone...I closed myself off. But as luck would have it, one night things went dangerously bad for me. So I sucked up my pride and cried for help. He ignored me. The only person who I had ever shared anything like that with. He ignored me. Today is one week from my cry for help. And he chose to block me on everything. He needed my assistance getting out of a legal matter, and as soon as that got reslolved today...he cut me off again. No words. No explanation. I was used. I was manipulated. I was played. and I am not handeling it well. I cried for help and got ignored. I cried for help and learned that he didn't care if I lived or died. i haven't figured out yet how to come back from this. I haven't figured out yet how much I even want to. I can't cry out again. Every part of my mind wont let me. So here I am, sitting in my depression. Sitting in my darkness. I tried to reach for light and got shot back down. So here is my advice to all. Cries for help are important. You never know if that cry is going to be somesones  last attempt at light. So don't ignore it. Don't assjme the are over reacting. Don't blow them off. Don't assume they are strong. Not everyone is as strong as they appear.