I'm Not Worried About Timing, My Life Will Happen How I Want It To

I'm Not Worried About Timing, My Life Will Happen How I Want It To

My friends are getting engaged and having babies and I'm just here — but that's OK!

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Since I was a little girl, I've always dreamed of being a successful adult with a big family. I have fantasized about the day that I'll be proposed to and eventually picking out a wedding dress. A little bit after that, I want to start a family. I'm still really young, and I don't have my whole life figured out by any means, but it definitely seems like the people around me do. My best friend just got engaged, people on my Facebook are getting pregnant and popping out babies, and I'm still just going to school and working.

I have been with my boyfriend off and on since I was in high school, and now we finally live together in our own home. We have our good days and our bad days, but the good outweighs the bad. I can't help but wonder when he wants to pop the question and how he wants to do it, but then again I wonder if we are at that stage in our relationship yet. We are both super young and still have a whole life ahead of us, yet I can't help thinking about what our engagement will be like.

I have to remind myself to take a step back from the situation and really look at "us," are we ready for that kind of commitment to each other? Don't get me wrong, we do love each other, but marriage is a really big step, a milestone in life, and I'm just not sure if we are there yet. My friends? They might be, they might be to the point where they are ready to make that leap and good for them! But it's OK for me to not be ready yet.

Call me crazy, but I have major baby fever, I love babies. I have younger siblings so I was always around a baby at some point, and I miss that. Babies are absolutely adorable, but no matter how much I want one, I know for a fact that I am not ready. My boyfriend and I got a puppy a couple of months ago, nothing crazy, right? Wrong.

She pees all over the place, she bites and she chews on everything. It is a mess and she is a pain. Now, imagine how my boyfriend and I would feel if this was an actual human baby. There's just no way, if we can't handle the easy tasks of a puppy right now, we most definitely should not make a baby.

A few years down the road, maybe, yeah, I would love to start a family. But first I want to make sure that we are financially and emotionally ready for that. Bringing another life into the world is not a walk in the park, and I'm glad we got a puppy so that my eyes can be officially open to that. No matter how crazy my baby fever gets, I just hold my psycho little dog for a minute and it goes away really quickly.

There's no real "right time" for anything, you choose the timing of how your life progresses. As long as you are happy and able to do these things, then go for it. In my case, and my boyfriend's, we just are not ready for either of these commitments or responsibilities yet, and that's OK. We are barely adults and before we grow up, I think it's important for us to enjoy this time together now, rather than worry about big future changes. Marriage and babies will come with time, I'm not stressing about it.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Yes.

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A few years ago, Shonda Rimes decided to do a year of saying yes, after her sister told her she says "No" to everything. It ended up changing her life.

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