I’m Not A Size 2 And That’s Okay

The Body Mass Index for someone who is 5’ 4” and under 24 should be 110 – 140 pounds. Now if you are 145 – 169 pounds you are “overweight” and 174 – 227 is “obese.”

I’m sorry. What?

Although I have never struggled with an eating disorder, I have struggled with body image. I have never been a “small size.” Growing up my sister had Crohn’s diseases so she was always a 0 or 00. Still to this day, she can wear clothes from the kid’s section.

While in middle school and high school, I always had gym class with the cheerleaders and other athletic people. I always felt uncomfortable in the locker room changing with them. The worst part about gym class with them was they could wear the Soffe short shorts and be fine, but because I was not their size, it would make me feel uncomfortable to wear the same. So like any other girl who wasn’t less than a size 5, I wore basketball shorts.

No matter if it was fall, winter, or spring, I would always wear jeans and a hoodie to school. I would always wear my hair up in a bun and no makeup. I never felt pretty enough to wear or do anything different with myself. I never felt that it was worth it to take the time to put effort into something that didn’t matter.

Going to college was the best thing for me. I was able to grow out of that “stage” and become a person I enjoy. I became a person that dressed better for myself, not anyone else. I wore makeup when I wanted and didn’t care if I didn’t have time because I wanted to sleep an extra 30 minutes.

This year has been the most comfortable I have felt in my body for so long. One thing I think that helped was the fact that everyone looks the same in chef whites. No matter if you are short or tall, round or small. As long as you can do what we come to school to do, no one cares what you look like.

I think being a part of Delta Phi Epsilon, where National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) is one of our philanthropy, we have learned so much about eating disorders and what it means to love your body. Delta Phi Epsilon has helped me learn about loving my body and taking care of it. I have a group of strong sisters that love me the way I am. They are not my friends because I wear a two-piece, they are my friends because I am me.

If Delta Phi Epsilon can help girls love their body by learning and working with ANAD then I love my sorority even more every day.