Life is either black or white

But never gray.

I do not know any other way.

Forgive me for being

So extreme.

This

Is

Who I am.

Right?

Then why

Why do I spend most of my time

Trying to figure out

How I feel

Or if I'm even feeling anything

At all?

Too many colors

Detract from the point

Of the display

But does blending all the colors

Create a muddled dark brown

Or white?

Technically,

White is not the absence of color

But rather

The presence of every color.

In turn, black is not a mixture of colors,

But rather

An actual lack of color.

Light theory confirms this.

But when we mix

Pigments together

On a canvas,

White is not the end result.

Nor is it black.

It is often

Dark brown.

The color of my eyes.

The color of my thoughts.

Not black.

Not white.

Being confused is

Understandable,

Right?

Or rather,

It was understandable.

My mind likes to work around these

Minor inconveniences

In whatever way possible.

And I think

And to a degree, I hope

That I'm not the only one

Who cannot wholeheartedly relate

To the textbook definition

Of people like me.

If my thoughts are dark brown,

Then when they are not dark brown,

They must be a deep sea dark blue.

For those are opposites

On their respective sides of the color spectrum.

So if "black and white" thinking,

Doesn't fit you like a glove,

Then look for the colors that do define you.

If they exist at all.

Maybe you identify more with textures,

Or shapes,

Or sounds,

Or patterns,

Or melodies,

Or gestures,

Or places,

Or memes,

Or literally anything else.

Or maybe you're of the belief

That you don't have to be able to

Put words to what you're experiencing.

The problem with not wanting to

Misrepresent ourselves

By adhering to the textbook definition

Even if it doesn't totally

Fit our experiences

Is that we end up receiving aid

(Or receiving no help at all)

That is not tailored

To suit properly suit our needs.

And it's no good

To wander around

Wearing cookie-cutter clothing

That bunches up in odd places

And doesn't fit quite right.

You do you,

Be honest with you,

Be true to you,

Even if it's confusing,

Or weird,

As long as it feels

Mostly natural,

You'll be on the right track

To accepting you

And to living

A little more comfortably

In your own skin.